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The course that will help to achive my career goals

The course that will help to achive my career goals BW2gw
I am currently a student at 1st grade of Istanbul Medipol Unıversity, Physiotherapy Department. Although my univertiy's education is more likely qualified than the other univerties in Turkey, in order to gain experience and become a professional, I must enroll some courses and gain knowledge which hopefully will improve my features as a pysiotherapy student. Furthermore, I planning on going abroad for internships and study for master's degree on the topics that you have covered in this course. Especially, about canser diesease, people can be so hopeless during the treatment and I would like to focus on this problem, then learn treatment, excersice programsand do whatever I can for them. Unfourtunately, I can't afford courses as qualified as yours which can be sufficent to achive my goals. I hope you would help this ambitous and determined student who wants to do her best to the world.
I am
currently
a student at 1st grade of Istanbul
Possible spelling mistake found.
Medipol
Possible spelling mistake found.
Unıversity
, Physiotherapy Department. Although my
Possible spelling mistake found.
univertiy
's education is more likely qualified than the other
Possible spelling mistake found.
univerties
in Turkey, in order to gain experience and become a professional, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
enroll
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
courses and gain knowledge which
hopefully
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
my features as a
Possible spelling mistake found.
pysiotherapy
student.
Furthermore
,
Did you mean "I'm planning", "I am planning", or "I was planning"?
I planning
on going abroad for internships and study for master's degree on the topics that you have covered in this course.
Especially
, about
Possible spelling mistake found.
canser
Possible spelling mistake found.
diesease
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
hopeless during the treatment and I would like to focus on this problem, then learn treatment,
Possible spelling mistake found.
excersice
Possible spelling mistake found.
programsand
do whatever I can for them.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Unfourtunately
, I can't afford courses as qualified as yours which can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
sufficent
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
achive
my goals. I hope you would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
this
Possible spelling mistake found.
ambitous
and determined student who wants to do her best to the world.
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IELTS essay The course that will help to achive my career goals

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
146 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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