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The contribution of various economic sector of gross domestic product to xcountry in 2016,2017and2018.

The contribution of various economic sector of gross domestic product to xcountry in 2016, 2017and2018. 2aJmX
To begin with, in2016, percentage of gross domestic product for agriculture which accounted for 13%. while, contribution of industry and service this was noticed as 22%and 65% respectively. Furthermore, in 2017, lowest percentage of agriculture 11% and 25% donation for industry whereas, the highest percentage of gross household things for service 64%. Moving Further, contribution to agriculture for gross domestic thing that was noticed at 15% in 2017. After that, 30%and 55% donation to gross domestic material for industry and service in 2018. Overall, it can be cleared that, donation for gross domestic violence to service was highest among other but less contribution of agriculture.
To
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begin
with, in2016, percentage of gross
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domestic
product for
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agriculture
which accounted for 13%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
, contribution of industry and
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service
this
was noticed
as 22%and 65%
respectively
.
Furthermore
, in 2017,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".
lowest
percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
11% and 25% donation for industry whereas, the highest percentage of gross household things for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
64%. Moving
Further
, contribution to
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agriculture
for gross
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domestic
thing that
was noticed
at 15% in 2017. After that, 30%and 55% donation to gross
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domestic
material for industry and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
in 2018.
Overall
, it can
be cleared
that, donation for gross
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
domestic
violence to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
was highest among other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
less contribution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
.

IELTS essay The contribution of various economic sector of gross domestic product to xcountry in 2016, 2017and2018.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
105 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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