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the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health.I firmly believe that

the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health. I firmly believe that 75ojy
It is a common belief that computers and televisions are less physically active, and this has a negative effect on their health. I firmly believe that is the correct view, and thí essay will address the reasons for my view. On the other hand, many people do not support the fact that the use of electronic devices such as computers and televisions makes people less active, less engaged in outdoor activities, less face-to-face conversation. with each other, each person often lives separate lives less sharing with each other, and with the heavy phone, use can also hurt our eyes, in the long run, our eyes will be blurred, with being in one place Using devices, we will cause diseases such as fatty liver, weight gain, for example, when children spend time playing with mobile phones, they will not be able to help their parents with housework. On the other hand, many people great deal advocates are inclined towards the fact that the use of electronic devices such as computers and televisions because it greatly supports our lives. For example, just turn on the computer and join the online class, both gaining knowledge but also safe for everyone. Therefore, the use of computers and televisions is an indispensable part for everyone. Although the use of computers and televisions is harmful to human health, it also helps us to save time while processing work.
It is a common belief that computers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
physically
active, and this has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on their health. I
firmly
believe
that is
the correct view, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
thí
essay will address the reasons for my view.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not support the fact that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of electronic devices such as computers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
active,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
engaged in outdoor activities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
face-to-face conversation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
with
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, each person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
separate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
sharing with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, and with the heavy phone,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
can
also
hurt our eyes, in the long run, our eyes will
be blurred
, with being in one place Using devices, we will cause diseases such as fatty liver, weight gain,
for example
, when children spend time playing with mobile phones, they will not be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their parents with housework.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
great deal advocates
are inclined
towards the fact that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of electronic devices such as computers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
greatly
supports our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
turn on the computer and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, both gaining knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
safe for everyone.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
is an indispensable part for everyone.

Although the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
is harmful to human health, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to save time while processing work.
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IELTS essay the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health. I firmly believe that

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
232 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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