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Nowadays people are more concerned about their health that they were in the past. Give reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Nowadays people are more concerned about their health that they were in the past. Give reasons and examples to support your opinion. XEXAY
Concerning about health condition among a number of people has been soring these days, compared to the past. Needless to say, more and more people have strived to ask for better and healthier lifestyle. Why does this trend happen? I will analyze the factors in this essay. First of all, the change of our food which we intake on a daily basis has been dramatically changed over decades and it can be said that can lead to one of triggers to make our life change. With the advancement of information technology and society, now people can choose whatever they want to eat anytime and anywhere. Therefore, they have a greater variety of selection of daily consumption, which can lead to accept well- balanced diet. Undeniably, it is obvious that the number of those who are in unfavorable health situation has increased. Obesity and heart and kidney desease can be represented as major concernings in this morden society. To fight against this serious issue, it is essential for people to take a good balance phically and mentaly. In conclusion, numerous people have been thought about making their lifestyle more productive due to the shifting of food and thier health status. They should be more careful with what they ear on a regular basis in their lives.
Concerning about health condition among a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
has been
Possible spelling mistake found.
soring
these days, compared to the past. Needless to say, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have strived to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
better and healthier lifestyle. Why does this trend happen? I will analyze the factors in this essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of our food which we intake on a daily basis has been
dramatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
over decades and it can
be said
that can lead to one of triggers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. With the advancement of information technology and society,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can choose whatever they want to eat anytime and anywhere.
Therefore
, they have a greater variety of selection of daily consumption, which can lead to accept well- balanced diet.

Undeniably
, it is obvious that the number of those who are in unfavorable health situation has increased. Obesity and heart and kidney
Possible spelling mistake found.
desease
can
be represented
as major
Possible spelling mistake found.
concernings
in this
Possible spelling mistake found.
morden
society. To fight against this serious issue, it is essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to take a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
balance
Possible spelling mistake found.
phically
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
mentaly
.

In conclusion
, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
about making their lifestyle more productive due to the shifting of food and
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
health status. They should be more careful with what
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'they'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they ear
on a regular basis in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays people are more concerned about their health that they were in the past. Give reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
215 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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