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Nowadays, many people go shopping in their free time. Shopping has replaced many other act

Nowadays, many people go shopping in their free time. Shopping has replaced many other act A32Re
During the last 50 years shopping has become an important part of each individual’s life. In the past people used to produce or make whatever they needs such as their food, cloth, vehicle, work equipment and so on, but by developing the countries and cities the need of people has changed and they hasn’t been able to provide everything by themselves. From the positive point of view, do shopping as a hobby shows that the economy of the society is good and people enjoy the average welfare. Besides, psychologists believe that buying things can help people to boost their inspiration. It is proved that even window shopping has a good effect in changing the mood. Moreover, it is a role that whenever you request for something there will be an answer for it. Based on this theory, by doing the shopping cycle of produce and development will be healthy and as a result economy of the country will stay stable and government can control the inflation rate. First main reason that increase the adoption of shopping as a hobby that it is an effective way of helping people to deal with depression and entertain themselves. Studies have shown that shopping actually causes your brain to release the hormone which is a chemical that enhance your mood and diminish the risk of being under pressure. A beautiful dress or the perfect shade of nail polish, for instance, can soothe the soul, provide a confidence boost that make you feel amazing. Moreover, shopping also brings us knowledge about fashion, hence, people can improve their appearance. For example, chosing a suitable cloths for particular meeting. This also leaves good impression on partners. Secondly, shopping makes chances to meet up and socialize. It is believed that shopping can built up and maintain the relationship between human and human. Through sharing their stories, thus, it can create strong connection between them. Furthermore, shopping or even “window shopping” is the best way to integrate ourselves to the world trending. This means while getting around the supermaket or shopping center, we can have a chance to catch up with the trend nowadays. This can lead to the comprehensive development. To sum up, although shopping improve the economy of the country, it is not a good replace for outdoor activities. People should enjoy it as their requirements but not as a hobby.
During the last 50 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has become an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of each individual’s life. In the past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to produce or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
whatever they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "need"
needs
such as their food, cloth, vehicle, work equipment and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by developing the countries and cities the need of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
has
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
changed and
they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "haven’t", "havenn’t"
hasn’t
been able to provide everything by themselves.

From the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
point of view, do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as a hobby
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the economy of the society is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy the average welfare.
Besides
, psychologists believe that buying things can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to boost their inspiration. It
is proved
that even window
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
effect in changing the mood.
Moreover
, it is a role that whenever you request for something there will be an answer for it. Based on this theory, by doing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
cycle of produce and development will be healthy and
as a result
economy of the country will stay stable and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can control the inflation rate.
First
main reason that increase the adoption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as a hobby that it is an effective way of helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to deal with depression and entertain themselves. Studies have shown that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
actually causes your brain to release the hormone which is a chemical that enhance your mood and diminish the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of being under pressure. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
dress or the perfect shade of nail polish,
for instance
, can soothe the soul, provide a confidence boost that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you feel amazing.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
also
brings us knowledge about fashion,
hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their appearance.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
chosing
a suitable
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "cloth"?
cloths
for particular meeting. This
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
impression on partners.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
chances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
up and socialize. It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
can built up and maintain the relationship between human and human. Through sharing their stories,
thus
, it can create strong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
them.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
or even “window
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping”
is the best way to integrate ourselves to the world trending. This means while getting around the
Possible spelling mistake found.
supermaket
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
center, we can have a chance to catch up with the trend nowadays. This can lead to the comprehensive development. To sum up, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the economy of the country, it is not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
replace for outdoor activities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should enjoy it as their requirements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not as a hobby.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, many people go shopping in their free time. Shopping has replaced many other act

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
394 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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