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The Commercial airline industry in the country of Freedonia has experienced impressive growth in the past three years. This trend will surely continue in the years to come, since the airline industry will benefit from recent changes in Freedonian society:

The Commercial airline industry in the country of Freedonia has experienced impressive growth in the past three years. This trend will surely continue in the years to come, since the airline industry will benefit from recent changes in Freedonian society: VB0jD
Commercial airline industry in Freedonia has experienced a huge growth since three years ago due to economic changes and more advertisement on foreign cultures. Bigger incomes, more vacation time and desire of people to travel abroad are pointed out as some factors related to increase on airline industry. However, this nowadays scenario may be different in the following years. For example, people can suddenly change to spend their vacation in local cities in Freedonia rather than to travel to a foreign country. In this cases, they can use other kinds of transportation such trains, buses or private cars. Moreover, with higher incomes people may decide to spend their money in other activities instead of traveling abroad. Finally, airlines companies may also rise the tickets` price. So, people may gradually stop buying tickets. It is possible that economic and advertisemnets factors can contribute to increase the demand in Freedonia dor more international flights. However, it is unsure how the future in Freedonia will be. The economy in Freedonia may be unstanble, so in the following years income may start to decrease. So, people may quickly stop traveling abroad. Moreover, within higher incomes people usually spend their money in other activities rather than travel abroal. For example, people may buy better houses or more comfortable furniture for their homes. They may also to invest more on their own education to get better jobs that are being offered due to the better economic situation of Freedonia. Besides economic factors, the impact of ads on Freedonia`s population should be studied. , it is necessary to investigate the role of media in Freedonia, before to affirm that ads affect people`s decisions. An illustration, most of population in Freedonia do not watch TV. However, most of the ads and information about foreign trips and culture is exhibited on TV. Thus, in this case ads will have a poor impact on people`s decisions. Moreover, even though many people watch TV and other medias, other ads about other products or actives can be showed. So, people may see ads about a adavantages of buying a new car, or a very local place to spend a vacation or a professional course to improve their changes to get a better jobs. Thus, all those ads will compete for attention at the same time that medias give attention to foreign cultures. In conclusion, studies should be conducted about the stability of Freedonia`s economy and desires of its population on how to spend their vacation.
Commercial airline industry in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Freedonia
has experienced a huge growth since three years ago due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and more advertisement on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
cultures. Bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incomes
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
time and desire of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to travel abroad
are pointed
out as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors related to increase on airline industry.
However
, this nowadays scenario may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in the following years.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
suddenly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
in local cities in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Freedonia
rather
than to travel to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
country. In
Did you mean "these"?
this
cases, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
kinds of transportation such trains, buses or private cars.
Moreover
, with higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incomes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their money in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
activities
instead
of traveling abroad.
Finally
, airlines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
may
also
rise the tickets` price.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
buying tickets.

It is possible that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
advertisemnets
factors can contribute to increase the demand in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Freedonia
Possible spelling mistake found.
dor
more international flights.
However
, it is unsure how the future in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Freedonia
will be. The economy in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Freedonia
may be
Possible spelling mistake found.
unstanble
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in the following
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "years'" or "year's"?
years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to decrease.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
quickly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
traveling abroad.
Moreover
, within higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incomes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their money in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
activities
rather
than travel
Possible spelling mistake found.
abroal
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
or more comfortable furniture for their homes. They may
also
to invest more on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
education to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
jobs that are
being offered
due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
situation of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Freedonia
.

Besides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
factors, the impact of ads on
The character between 'Freedonia' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "Freedonia’s" (curly apostrophe) or "Freedonia's" (straight apostrophe).
Freedonia`s
population should
be studied
.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
it is necessary to investigate the role of media in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Freedonia
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
to affirm that ads affect
The character between 'people' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "people’s" (curly apostrophe) or "people's" (straight apostrophe).
people`s
decisions. An illustration,
Consider using "most population" or "most of the population".
most of population
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Freedonia
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV.
However
, most of the ads and information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
trips and culture
is exhibited
on TV.
Thus
,
in this case
ads will have a poor impact on
The character between 'people' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "people’s" (curly apostrophe) or "people's" (straight apostrophe).
people`s
decisions.
Moreover
,
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
medias,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ads about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
products or actives can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
ads about
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
adavantages
of buying a new car, or a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
local place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
or a professional course to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
jobs.
Thus
, all those ads will compete for attention at the same time that medias give attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
cultures.

In conclusion
, studies should
be conducted
about the stability of
The character between 'Freedonia' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "Freedonia’s" (curly apostrophe) or "Freedonia's" (straight apostrophe).
Freedonia`s
economy and desires of its population on how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
.
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IELTS essay The Commercial airline industry in the country of Freedonia has experienced impressive growth in the past three years. This trend will surely continue in the years to come, since the airline industry will benefit from recent changes in Freedonian society:

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
413 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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