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In the modern world of today, Hollywood celebrities are chief role models of the public.

In the modern world of today, Hollywood celebrities are chief role models of the public. 5620e
In the modern world of today, Hollywood celebrities are chief role models of the public. People, in general, pay a great deal of attention to the opinions of famous celebrities, regard them as trustworthy sources of information and try to follow their path to success and renown. Some argue that younger generation is more attentive to the opinions of well-known celebrities than the older generations. I agree with this notion. I believe the opinions and ideas of famous actors, entertainers and athletes are highly regarded by young people and less so by older people. I consider this to be the case for several reasons and I intend to explain why. Firstly, we have to consider the environment in which young people are living in nowadays; Rather than the real world, they tend to spend their days in the virtual world, especially social media. Celebrities, with millions of followers have the most influential pages on twitter, instagram, facebook and so on. Whenever they share something, hundreds of thousands of people view it in their feed instantly. Hence, they can easily affect public opinion about different topics, because they get heard the most. Young people think celebrities' opinions are important mainly because they are most widely known. However, generically, older people are less prone to spend their time on social media and thus, they don't really know what celebrities are saying. To illustrate further, I intend to set an example. Last year, a well-recognized, highly popular singer in my country posted a text on instagram in which he terribly insulted girls. This caused a public disgust towards him and everyone decided not to buy or listen to his songs. My dad however didn't know about this because he doesn't have an instagram account and played his song in the car. My sisters and I got furious and told him what was going on. Secondly, older people, as opposed to younger ones, have a vast amount of experience in their lives. At one time in thier lives, they might have been huge fans of a celebrity and like younger people today, they might have considered famous peoples' opinions to be of great importance. Nevertheless, as they grew older, they gained a lot of experience, met a lot of people, and found out that there are actually so many people whose opinions are truly amazing and much deeper than the opinions of celebrities. For example, my mother, who in the prime of her life, was the biggest Marylin Monroe fan, is now rather ignorant of his affairs and statements. She told me that as she grew older, she met a lot of great people who influenced her alot and she doesn't think of Johnny Depp's opinions that important anymore. In Closing, I believe because of the foregoing two reasons, the opinions of celebrities are more important to younger people than they are to older poeple.
In the modern world of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, Hollywood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are chief role models of the public.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
,
in general
, pay a great deal of attention to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
, regard them as trustworthy sources of information and try to follow their path to success and renown.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generation is more attentive to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
of well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
generations. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion. I believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
actors, entertainers and athletes are
highly
regarded by young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
consider this to be the case for several reasons and I intend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why.

Firstly
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
consider the environment in which young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are living
nowadays is used without 'in'. Use simply: "nowadays".
in nowadays
;
Rather
than the real world, they tend to spend their days in the virtual world,
especially
social media.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Celebrities
, with millions of followers have the most influential pages on twitter,
Possible spelling mistake found.
instagram
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Whenever they share something, hundreds of thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
view it in their feed
instantly
.
Hence
, they can
easily
affect public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
topics,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
heard the most. Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
celebrities'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are most
widely
known.
However
,
generically
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are less prone to spend their time on social media and
thus
, they don't
really
know what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are saying. To illustrate
further
, I intend to set an example. Last year, a well-recognized,
highly
popular singer in my country posted a text on
Possible spelling mistake found.
instagram
in which he
terribly
insulted girls. This caused a public disgust towards him and everyone decided not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
or listen to his songs. My dad
however
didn't know about this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he doesn't have an
Possible spelling mistake found.
instagram
account and played his song in the car. My sisters and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
furious and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
him what was going on.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, as opposed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
ones, have a vast amount of experience in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. At one time in
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, they might have been huge fans of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
and like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, they might have considered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
peoples'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
to be of great importance.
Nevertheless
, as they grew
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
, they gained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
experience, met
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and found out that there are actually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
are
truly
amazing and much deeper than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
.
For example
, my mother, who in the prime of her life, was the biggest
Possible spelling mistake found.
Marylin
Monroe fan, is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
rather
ignorant of his affairs and statements. She
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that as she grew
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
, she met
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who influenced her
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
alot and
she doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of Johnny Depp's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
anymore.

In Closing, I believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the foregoing two reasons, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than they are to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
Possible spelling mistake found.
poeple
.
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IELTS essay In the modern world of today, Hollywood celebrities are chief role models of the public.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
481 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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