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In this sets of material, both the reading passage and the lecture compared the communal online encyclopedias with the traditional offline versions.

In this sets of material, both the reading passage and the lecture compared the communal online encyclopedias with the traditional offline versions. RNWxY
In this sets of material, both the reading passage and the lecture compared the communal online encyclopedias with the traditional offline versions. The reading firmly claimed that problems of online version of encyclopedias far outweigh the problems related to traditional offline versions and provides three reasons of support. However the professor repudiates what stated in the article resting upon fallacious premises and refutes each of the author's claims. Firstly, the reading passage claimed that contributors of online encyclopedias partially informed well with academic credentials in comparison to traditional ones, who had been trained the standards of academic writings. The lecture contradicted this point by acknowledging that none of the aforementioned versions are accurate enough and it is not fair to point out this problem just for online versions, considering that fact that printing errors in traditional encyclopedias often remains for decades. Secondly, the article claimed that online encyclopedias are always in danger from hackers who might tried to fabricate, delete or even corrupt the information they include. Notwithstanding the speaker highlighted that all the information would be protected by two strategies. He articulated that if the writers put information in read-only format, no one could changed them; moreover there would be special editors who would eliminated any possible attack from hackers. Lastly, the reading contended that communal encyclopedias focus very much in popular topics. This seemed to be inaccurate as explained in the lecture. The lecturer stated that for the sake of having unlimited space online encyclopedias could represent great variety of articles for great diversity of groups and actually it is one of the strongest advantageous of them.
In
Did you mean "these"?
this
sets of material, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
passage and the lecture compared the communal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
encyclopedias with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
offline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
versions
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
firmly
claimed that problems of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
version
of encyclopedias far outweigh the problems related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
offline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
versions
and provides three reasons of support.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the professor repudiates what stated in the article resting upon fallacious premises and refutes each of the author's claims.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
passage claimed that contributors of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
encyclopedias
partially
informed well with academic credentials
in comparison
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
ones, who had
been trained
the standards of academic writings. The lecture contradicted this point by acknowledging that none of the aforementioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
versions
are accurate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
to point out this problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
versions
, considering that fact that printing errors in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
encyclopedias
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
remains for decades.

Secondly
, the article claimed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
encyclopedias are always in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
from hackers who might tried to fabricate, delete or even corrupt the information they include. Notwithstanding the speaker highlighted that all the information would
be protected
by two strategies. He articulated that if the writers put information in read-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
format, no one could
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "change"
changed
them;
moreover
there would be special editors who would eliminated any possible attack from hackers.

Lastly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
contended that communal encyclopedias focus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much in popular topics. This seemed to be inaccurate as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in the lecture. The lecturer stated that for the sake of having unlimited space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
encyclopedias could represent great variety of articles for great diversity of groups and actually it is one of the strongest advantageous of them.
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IELTS essay In this sets of material, both the reading passage and the lecture compared the communal online encyclopedias with the traditional offline versions.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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