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The clothing and fashion industry have a big influence on people. Is this a good or bad thing?

The clothing and fashion industry have a big influence on people. Is this a good or bad thing? bD26Q
People have always been greatly influenced by fashion over the decades, which will continue to happen in the future. Some people say that the clothing and fashion industry brings a lot of trouble to people. However, I completely disagree with that opinion. I will give arguments to support my opinion in the following paragraphs. To begin with, clothes and fashion are not just items used to cover the human body. On the contrary, it also is the personality and emotions that people want to show to the outside. For example, a person with a simple and gentle style can be 90% sure that they are quite simple in their daily life. Thus, if anyone wants to make friends with that person, they will know what to do. Likewise, those who like the colourful, dynamic, through the clothes can make friends with other people with the same interests. Moreover, clothes help people express their emotions very well, like if someone is sad, they tend to wear dark and simple clothes like black or white, on the contrary, if they are happy they will choose items bright and eye-catching. Next, I believe that clothes increase our confidence and impression many times. For example, if someone wears messy clothes, they themselves will feel shy when meeting someone, or they will not make a good impression on people. When we meet someone, what makes our first impression? Of course, our eyes will only see the outer appearance, therefore, clothing and fashion are very important to everyone. A person with neat, clean and fashionable clothes will feel extremely confident when doing something because they know that everyone is paying attention to that person. Moreover, clothing and fashion affect not only individuals but also countries. Each country has its own traditional costume to enhance the unique beauty of its people and that country. That's why the world always organizes national costume contests every year, which is extremely meaningful. To summarize, the clothing and fashion industry has had a great influence on people. If people know how to create and use clothes properly, they will only enhance their beauty without any problems.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have always been
greatly
influenced by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
over the decades, which will continue to happen in the future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that the clothing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
industry brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
trouble to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, I completely disagree with that opinion. I will give arguments to support my opinion in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
items
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to cover the human body.
On the contrary
, it
also
is the personality and emotions that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
to the outside.
For example
, a person with a simple and gentle style can be 90% sure that they are quite simple in their daily life.
Thus
, if anyone wants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
friends with that person, they will know what to do.
Likewise
, those who like the
Possible spelling mistake. 'colourful' is British English.
colourful
, dynamic, through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
friends with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with the same interests.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
express their emotions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well, like if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
is sad, they tend to wear dark and simple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
like black or white,
on the contrary
, if they are happy they will choose items bright and eye-catching.

Next
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
increase our confidence and impression
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times.
For example
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
wears messy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
, they themselves will feel shy when meeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
, or they will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impression on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. When we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
, what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
our
first
impression?
Of course
, our eyes will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the outer appearance,
therefore
, clothing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to everyone. A person with neat, clean and fashionable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
will feel
extremely
confident when doing something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they know that everyone is paying attention to that person.

Moreover
, clothing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
affect not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
countries. Each country has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
traditional costume to enhance the unique beauty of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and that country. That's why the world always organizes national costume contests every year, which is
extremely
meaningful.

To summarize
, the clothing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
industry has had a great influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know how to create and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
properly
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
enhance their beauty without any problems.
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IELTS essay The clothing and fashion industry have a big influence on people. Is this a good or bad thing?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
355 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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