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The charts illustrate the proportion of time used in housework by using different electrical machines by households in one nation from 1920 to 2019.

The charts illustrate the proportion of time used in housework by using different electrical machines by households in one nation from 1920 to 2019. g8jLL
Nowadays, due to the development of technology, we can record things very easily, and we can review to it in the future. Starting from these years, there are many people who love review the past and history of their living house. However, why will be a trend? I am going the express my thought. First of all, history is equaled to the culture of a place. There are many people who love to understand the culture of a city or a place, and the method of understanding them is to know or study the history of that place. I consider the reason of people finding out the history of their house is because of that they love understand culture. They want to know who were living their and what they did. By know it, they can realize or compare the difference of culture between them and the people in the past. For example, there are many temples in Hong Kong, however, those temples are in very long history and people living was living there. And now, people want to know the culture of those place by find the history of the timples. After explaining why people get interested in finding the history of their house, there is another problem raised, how they find the history. I think there are different methods. For the first methods, people can find the information from internet. As I have said in the beginning, we can record things quickly and easily. People can just take a picture or record some activities though text and upload in to the internet. Thus, people understand the history by access the website which contain the pictures or description that are related to the history of a place. Such as website, Wikipedia, which records different information, include history of places. In conclusion, I believe that people want to know the past of their home is because they love understnad culture and the most easiest way for them to know the past is to research them from internet.
Nowadays, due to the development of technology, we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
record
things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
, and we can review to it in the future. Starting from these years, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
review the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
However
, why will be a trend? I am going the express my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is equaled
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
to understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of a city or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
, and the method of understanding them is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
or study the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. I consider the reason of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
finding out the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. They want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
who were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
their and what they did. By
The comma is probably missing here: "know, it".
know it
, they can realize or compare the difference of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
between them and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
temples in Hong Kong,
however
, those temples are in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
there. And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
by find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
timples
.

After explaining why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
interested in finding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, there is another problem raised, how they find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
methods. For the
first
methods,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can find the information from internet. As I have said in the beginning, we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
record
things
quickly
and
easily
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
take a picture or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
record
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activities though text and upload in to the internet.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
by access the website which contain the pictures or description that
are related
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. Such as website, Wikipedia, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
records
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
information, include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of places.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
of their home is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
Possible spelling mistake found.
understnad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and the
Use only "easiest" (without 'most') when you use the superlative.
most easiest
way for them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
is to research them from internet.
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IELTS essay The charts illustrate the proportion of time used in housework by using different electrical machines by households in one nation from 1920 to 2019.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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