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The charts below show the percentage of five kinds of books sold by a bookseller between 1972 and 2012. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparison where relevant. v.1

The charts below show the percentage of five kinds of books sold by a bookseller between 1972 and 2012.
Books have been a great source of information and entertainment since ages. However, in recent times, books are thought to be losing their importance. I agree with this view and in this essay I will explain how the availability of information on the internet and the aggressive growth of visual media have threatened the very existence of printed books. To begin with, thanks to the advent of the internet, all the information is now available at the click of a button. For example, if we need information on a particular topic, we only have to Google it and it is available for free. Thus people tend to search information online rather than spending money on books which are often expensive. Also, finding information from a book often takes a lot of time. Hence it is evident that the popularity of books is decreasing. Additionally, there has been a dramatic growth in the popularity and reach of visual media which provide different types of entertainment. For instance, people these days switch on their television during their free time. They no longer read a book to relax their mind. The internet also provides a lot of entertainment material and even smart phones have access to the internet these days. Therefore, the demand for books as a source of entertainment has reduced considerably. In conclusion, I would say that though books are a great source of information and entertainment, people, nowadays, have access to alternative means of entertainment and faster and more convenient sources of information. Consequently, books are losing their readers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Books
have been a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and entertainment since ages.
However
, in recent times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to be losing their importance. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view and in this essay I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how the availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on the internet and the aggressive growth of visual media have threatened the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
existence of printed books.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, thanks to the advent of the internet, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
available at the click of a button.
For example
, if we need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on a particular topic, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
Google it and it is available for free.
Thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to search
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
online
rather
than spending money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
expensive.
Also
, finding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
it is evident that the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is decreasing.

Additionally
, there has been a dramatic growth in the popularity and reach of visual media which provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of entertainment.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
these days switch on their television during their free time. They no longer read a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
to relax their mind. The internet
also
provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
entertainment material and even smart phones have access to the internet these days.
Therefore
, the demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of entertainment has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
considerably
.

In conclusion
, I would say that though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and entertainment,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, nowadays, have access to alternative means of entertainment and faster and more convenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are losing their readers.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay The charts below show the percentage of five kinds of books sold by a bookseller between 1972 and 2012.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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