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The chart below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015 v.2

The chart below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015 v. 2
Technology has made a new World now a days and it has made those things possible which were not possible some decades ago. By, introducing, it. Everyone can do office job from their homes and it can be proved very beneficial for individuals. I personally feel that this development has more merits than its demerits. There are some major benefits to follow this trend. By following this development people can save their fare expenses and long hour they spend on commuting and the time can be spent on doing domestic or job work. The major advantage of it, is for female workers. In the past, they could not do extra time at work place because they had to do domestic works. While, in the present, every white collar job holder woman can do service anytime as they want because they have full freedom in their homes. For instance, in a city of Finland due to this development, almost 60% sexual harassment crimes against women decreased. In this way, it can be proved very beneficial for individuals. In contrast, it has some demerits too. This may people lazier and can ruin their time management towards the work because at home because there will be nobody to pressurise them 1for performing the duties fast enough (such as managers or supervisors). To exemplify this, the productivity of a multinational company was less when they introduced this method. To conclude, in my opinion, this trend is very supportive for individuals or reduce crime rate against females; hence, I think that this modern practice has more positive effects than negative ones. Nevertheless, it is dangerous for the success or productivity of a company.
Technology has made a new World
now a days
and it has made those things possible which were not possible
some
decades ago. By, introducing, it.

Everyone can do office job from their homes and it can
be proved
very
beneficial for individuals. I
personally
feel that this development has more merits than its demerits.

There are
some
major benefits to follow this trend. By following this development
people
can save their fare expenses and long hour they spend on commuting and the time can
be spent
on doing domestic or job
work
. The major advantage of it, is for female workers. In the past, they could not do extra time at
work
place
because
they had to do domestic works. While, in the present, every white collar job holder woman can do service anytime as they want
because
they have full freedom in their homes.
For instance
, in a city of Finland due to this development, almost 60% sexual harassment crimes against women decreased. In this way, it can
be proved
very
beneficial for individuals.

In contrast
, it has
some
demerits too. This may
people
lazier and can ruin their time management towards the
work
because
at home
because
there will be nobody to
pressurise
them 1for performing the duties
fast
enough
(such as managers or supervisors). To exemplify this, the productivity of a multinational
company
was less when they introduced this method.

To conclude
, in my opinion, this trend is
very
supportive for individuals or
reduce
crime rate against females;
hence
, I
think
that this modern practice has more
positive
effects than
negative
ones.
Nevertheless
, it is
dangerous
for the success or productivity of a
company
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
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Amy Chua

IELTS essay The chart below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015 v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
278 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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