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The chart below shows the percentage of female employees in three job sectors in Greece from 1990 to 2015. v.1

The chart below shows the percentage of female employees in three job sectors in Greece from 1990 to 2015. v. 1
It is argued that libraries are unnecessary these days due to the fact that students have easy access to information via the internet. I disagree with this because libraries allow people to attain specialised types of information and are important for students to study in a quiet environment. Even though it is true that students nd it much easier to get specic academic information connected to their studies on the internet, I think that libraries are still essential in schools and universities as well as public library facilities. One reason for this is that some types of specialised information cannot be found on the internet. For instance, most well-known academic authors do not immediately publish their recent work online, instead, they publish books explaining their analyses and results. Therefore, these books are usually found in university or school libraries before they appear on the world wide web. Another reason why I believe that they are necessary is that students need places to concentrate and focus. Libraries are perfect environments for this as they are very quiet and everyone there is motivated to investigate and study. As a result, they create an academic environment that encourages deep concentration. To illustrate this, a poll carried out by Oxford University in 2015 stated that around 62% of students spent a large proportion of their time in the library researching and writing. They claimed that a silent academic atmosphere helped them to study and get better results in their exams. In conclusion, although the internet is of great benet to students, I believe that libraries are still necessary as they grant access to specialised sources of information and their facilities provide better conditions for studying.
It
is argued
that libraries are unnecessary these days due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have easy access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
via the internet. I disagree with this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
libraries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to attain
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialised' is British English.
specialised
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in a quiet environment.

Even though
it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Possible spelling mistake found.
nd
it much easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
specic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
connected to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
on the internet, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that libraries are
still
essential in schools and universities
as well
as public library facilities. One reason for this is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
types of
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialised' is British English.
specialised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
cannot
be found
on the internet.
For instance
, most well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
authors do not immediately publish their recent work online,
instead
, they publish books explaining their analyses and results.
Therefore
, these books are
usually
found in university or school libraries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they appear on the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
world wide web
.

Another reason why I believe that they are necessary is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need places to concentrate and focus. Libraries are perfect environments for this as they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
quiet and everyone there
is motivated
to investigate and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
As a result
, they create an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
environment that encourages deep concentration. To illustrate this, a poll carried out by Oxford University in 2015 stated that around 62% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
spent a large proportion of their time in the library researching and writing. They claimed that a silent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
atmosphere
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better results in their exams.

In conclusion
, although the internet is of great
Possible spelling mistake found.
benet
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, I believe that libraries are
still
necessary as they grant access to
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialised' is British English.
specialised
sources of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and their facilities provide better conditions for studying.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay The chart below shows the percentage of female employees in three job sectors in Greece from 1990 to 2015. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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