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The chart below shows the global sales by year of a number of Apple devices.

The chart below shows the global sales by year of a number of Apple devices. BgKwa
The chart indicates that a number of Apple devices give revenue by year globally. Overall, it was obvious that in 2002 Mac gave higher profits than among the two while there were the highest revenues in 2013 that was iphone. And Mac had the most minuscule profits compared to the other two in that year. In terms of ipod and iphone, it was explicit that they fluctuated from 2002 and 2013. There was a slight increase in the sales of iPod devices ( just about 5 millions of units). As well as this, it witnessed a surge in revenues in 2008 with around 55 millions. After that, the year 2013 saw a fall in the sales of ipod. Regarding the iphone, starting with 2007, the iphone climbed up significantly in incomes at about 75 millions of units. Then, this increased remarkably in sales in 2013. 150 millions of units was the figure that it got profits in that year. As regards Mac, it was clear that Mac didn’t fluctuate much. Although it was the highest figure in 2002, it hadn’t had more profits than among the two in the period of time. Macs increased slightly with 10 millions of units. in 2009. After that, there was a duge in revenues by year in 2012. And then, the figure fell steadily in 2013 with under 20 millions of units.
The chart indicates that a number of Apple devices give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenue
by year globally.

Overall
, it was obvious that in 2002
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mac
gave higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
than among the two while there were the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenues
in 2013 that was
Possible spelling mistake found.
iphone
. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mac
had the most minuscule
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
compared to the other two in that year.

In terms of
Possible spelling mistake found.
ipod
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
iphone
, it was explicit that they fluctuated
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 2002 to 2013"?
from 2002 and 2013
. There was a slight increase in the sales of iPod devices
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units)
.
As well
as this, it witnessed a surge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenues
in 2008 with around 55
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
. After that, the year 2013
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a fall in the sales of
Possible spelling mistake found.
ipod
. Regarding the
Possible spelling mistake found.
iphone
, starting with 2007, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
iphone
climbed up
significantly
in incomes at about 75
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
. Then, this increased
remarkably
in sales in 2013. 150
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
was the figure that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
in that year.

As regards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mac
, it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mac
didn’t fluctuate much. Although it was the highest figure in 2002, it hadn’t had more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
than among the two in the period of time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Macs
increased
slightly
with 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
2009. After that, there was a
Possible spelling mistake found.
duge
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenues
by year in 2012. And then, the figure fell
steadily
in 2013 with under 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
.
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IELTS essay The chart below shows the global sales by year of a number of Apple devices.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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