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Some people fear that technology is gradually taking control our lives. To what extent do you agree or disgree?

Some people fear that technology is gradually taking control our lives. Yd13Q
In contemporary society, technological development is gradually taking over control our lives. From my point of views, I partly agree with this statement To begin with, I agree that scientific advancements have a negative effect on our life. One of the main reason is more and more people spend a significant amount of time using their smartphone. Especially, teenagers due to smartphone has a lot of interesting functional to relax. For example, after a tiring lesson students are more likely to laying in the bed and using their phone for enjoy a movies instead of doing some exercise, which leads to a sedantary lifestyle. As a result, they will tend to run a higher risk of getting serious illnesses such as cardiovascular disease. Second, using a technology devices seem to make people disconnect with family and friends. This is because inviduals love to being on the internet so they do not have time to confide with their beloved. On the other hand, it is evident that technology give us various benefits so we can not stop using it. Firstly, it really useful for searching information to expand our knowledges. For instance, thanks to the wifi connection, if student did not understand acadamic question, they can easily to find it on the internet and then they have a better grades. Secondly, it also can helps us keep in touch with parents and best friends although far from each others. Take the example of pandemic time, we can use video call to have a conversation without going outside. It is more convenient. Taking everything into considers, smartphone is an must have items in our daily life eventhough it has many upsides, it also has many downside. In contrast, I think it is depend on the ways we use it and it continue thrive in the future.
In contemporary society, technological development is
gradually
taking over control our
lives
. From my point of views, I partly
agree
with this statement

To
begin
with, I
agree
that scientific advancements have a
negative
effect on our life. One of the main reason is more and more
people
spend a significant amount of time using their smartphone.
Especially
,
teenagers
due to smartphone has
a lot of
interesting functional to relax.
For example
, after a tiring lesson students are more likely to laying in the bed and using their phone for enjoy
a movies
instead
of doing
some
exercise, which leads to a
sedantary
lifestyle.
As a result
, they will tend to run a higher
risk
of getting serious illnesses such as cardiovascular disease. Second, using a technology devices seem to
make
people
disconnect with family and friends. This is
because
inviduals
love
to being on the internet
so
they do not have time to confide with their beloved.

On the other hand
, it is evident that technology give us various benefits
so
we can not
stop
using it.
Firstly
,
it
really
useful for searching information to expand our
knowledges
.
For instance
, thanks to the
wifi
connection, if student did not understand
acadamic
question, they can
easily
to find it on the
internet and
then they have a better grades.
Secondly
, it
also
can
helps
us
keep
in touch with parents and best friends although far from each
others
. Take the example of pandemic time, we can
use
video call to have a conversation without going outside. It is more convenient.

Taking everything into considers, smartphone is
an
must have
items in our daily life
eventhough
it has
many
upsides, it
also
has
many downside
.
In contrast
, I
think
it is
depend
on the ways we
use
it and it
continue
thrive in the future.
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IELTS essay Some people fear that technology is gradually taking control our lives.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
304 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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