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The brightest star in the sky

The brightest star in the sky awqXX
The Brightest Star In The Sky I lay down on my bed, Fall asleep Gary, it is already midnight, tomorrow is going to be another long day, I said to myself. “Beep, Beep. ” Just as I was trying to put myself to sleep, the disturbing sound of a vital sign monitor triggered every single nerve in my body. I put on a shirt and rushed to my dad’s room. “Is everything ok? ” I asked apprehensively. “He’s alright, the blood pressure was a bit low, so it triggered the alert. ” My uncle answered as he put his hand on my shoulder. He told me not to worry and rest for tomorrow. I looked at my dad, still as always, and I was filled with relief that nothing had happened. “If anything happens, I promise that I will let you know immediately, ” My uncle promised me calmly. I sneaked out of my father's room quietly and came back to my room to lie on my bed again. Behind the window in the ceiling of my room laid an early morning sky; the sun was coming up and I looked for signs of clouds. White clouds are always my favorite: pure and carefree, but all I could find was the dimming sky and a faint moonlight without a single trace of clouds. . . … I sobbed quietly; I could not pinpoint my emotion. When I closed my tired eyes, memories of my childhood flashed by in my head. From the times when we went on a road trip across half of China, the time when we went to the adventure park, to the time when we visited Canada for the first time, my father was always there. I was always surrounded by the love and support of both my parents and the idea of losing one wrapped me in fear, uncertainty, and terror. Not too long ago, my father was diagnosed with “Cholangiocarcinoma” and my reality turned upside down overnight. I fell asleep shortly after. “Beep, beep, beep…” I was violently taken out of sleep by the sound of the vital sign monitor again. My heart sank. The sound of the alert was not like the ones I heard last night; it was much more intensive and it only amplified over time as if it’s roaring for help. “It’s a red alert. ” Seconds after I realized the urgency of the situation, I sprinted into my dad’s room half-naked. I stopped by the door, struck by pain and shock of what was happening. My dad was breathing heavily, and his body was covered in sweat as he put up a battle with the demon inside of him. His face was pale and dark yellow like sand from jaundice that was caused by cancer. His body was swelled up twice his size from the deterioration of blood circulation. I carefully moved closer to my father to see his face. I could tell from his eyes that he didn’t want to leave us yet, and he was staring directly into my eyes as if he was trying to tell me something. I held his hands as tightly as I possibly could and prayed. My mom and aunties also got to the bedroom, but his spasms were gone by the time they arrived. The monitor returned back to normal, and his breathing slowed down. My mother, then, let out a loud sigh of relief and in her tear-filled eyes, I could tell how terrified she was. Around 6 am, my grandma came along with the doctors. The doctor did the procedural treatments and injected some morphine to ease my father’s pain. We sat in the room for a whole morning, and the monitor’s alert went off numerous times. “The condition seemed to have aggravated. ” The doctor said emotionlessly. “His blood pressure is too low, and we can only maintain his life using medicine and nutrition fluids. ” My heart ached in tremendous pain, but I knew what it meant. Before I knew it, my grandma went down to the kitchen, and she had brought a bowl of Chinese herbal, medicinal fluids “Son, take a sip, this will make you feel better. ” My dad hasn’t eaten anything in the last three days because he vomited everything that went down his throat. The medicine was made from different types of grass and leaves, it had an extremely bitter taste to it, and it smelled like rotten meats. Undoubtedly, I knew my dad would suffer more if he drank it. “Leave him alone! ” I ran inside and yelled at my grandma. “If he doesn’t drink anything, how will he recover? ” My grandma shouted back and continued to urge my father to take a sip. Finally, I snatched the bowl of medicine from her hands and dropped it on the floor. “Leave! ” I said angrily. Looking shocked, my grandma left the room. Everyone was overwhelmed by my reaction to my grandma, including my dad. In their eyes, I was always a good, courteous kid who respected elders, and my unexpected reaction took everyone by surprise. “ I want to talk with you, Dandan, ” My dad whispered feebly, and those were the first words to come out of my father’s mouth in days. Knowing my father wanted to have a private conversation with me, my uncles and aunts stepped out of the room. “Dandan” was the Chinese nickname that my dad called me by when he was healthy. When he was healthy, he would also most certainly criticize me and punish me for disrespecting my grandmother. “You aren’t a child anymore, you have to learn to be more mature, ” my dad started gently. I nodded, “I will still be looking after you, just a different place, so promise to look after our family. ” my dad continued. “But where? ” I cried because I couldn’t hold back my tears. “I will be one of the stars, watching you high up in the sky. ” “There are so many of them, you are going to get better! ” I hiccuped in response and continued to let my tears stream down my face. “Dandan, sometimes, life won’t go as you planned, but you can make the best out of it, ” and he continued, “I will be the brightest one”. Then, the doctor came in to do an hourly check-in and I didn’t get the chance to answer my dad. I went downstairs to apologize to my grandma and told her I understood her feelings. She comforted me and said, “both of us were driven by our nerves. ” It was then when I heard the monitor’s incessant beeping sound again filled the entire house. We all charged back into my dad’s room to see the unconscious body of my father, lying helplessly in his bed. “The patient is unconscious right now. ”, the doctor declared, and everything became a blur after that. I remember holding on to his hands firmly while the alarm kept going off. The alert was ringing for ten minutes straight when it stopped suddenly, and my father opened his eyes to get a final look at every one. He, then, focused on the sky outside of the window, took a look at the world for the last time. “Beep…” this time, his heartbeat flattened, and the doctor announced his time of death. It felt as though my world was falling apart. After what seemed like hours of silence crying in my bed, I fell asleep. When I woke up, the world was covered in blackness. In the sky, there still weren't any clouds, the starlights were still dim, and I couldn’t stop but feel disappointed. But just when I was about to close my eyes again, I caught a glimpse of something shining in the sky: it was the brightest star that my father was talking about. I knew it was far away, yet it felt so close. I don't know if it was my tears or the stars, but it was shining so brightly. I stared at the star for as long as I can remember, and I knew my father would always be right there, looking after everything
The Brightest Star In The Sky

I lay
down
on my
bed
, Fall asleep Gary, it is already midnight, tomorrow is going to be another long day, I said to myself. “Beep, Beep. ”
Just
as I was trying to
put
myself to sleep, the disturbing
sound
of a vital
sign
monitor
triggered every single nerve in my
body
. I
put
on a shirt and rushed to my
dad’s
room
. “Is
everything
ok? ” I asked
apprehensively
. “He’s alright, the blood pressure was a bit low,
so
it triggered the
alert
. ” My uncle answered as he
put
his
hand
on my shoulder. He
told
me not to worry and rest for tomorrow. I looked at my
dad
,
still
as always, and I
was filled
with relief that nothing had happened. “If anything happens, I promise that I will
let
you know immediately,
My uncle promised me
calmly
.

I sneaked out of my father's
room
quietly
and came
back
to my
room
to lie on my
bed
again
. Behind the window in the ceiling of my
room
laid an early morning sky; the sun was coming up and I looked for signs of
clouds
. White
clouds
are always my favorite: pure and carefree,
but
all I could find was the dimming sky and a faint moonlight without a single trace of
clouds
.
.
.
… I sobbed
quietly;
I could not pinpoint my emotion. When I closed my tired
eyes
, memories of my childhood flashed by in my head. From the
times
when we
went
on a road trip across half of China, the
time
when we
went
to the adventure park, to the
time
when we visited Canada for the
first
time,
my
father
was always there. I was always surrounded by the
love
and support of both my parents and the
idea
of losing one wrapped me in fear, uncertainty, and terror. Not too long ago, my
father
was diagnosed
with “
Cholangiocarcinoma
” and my reality turned upside
down
overnight. I fell asleep shortly after.

“Beep, beep, beep…” I was
violently
taken out of sleep by the
sound
of the vital
sign
monitor
again
. My heart sank. The
sound
of the
alert
was not like the ones I heard last night; it was much more intensive and it
only
amplified over
time
as if it’s roaring for
help
. “It’s a red
alert
. ” Seconds after I realized the urgency of the situation, I sprinted into my
dad’s
room
half-naked. I
stopped
by the door, struck by pain and shock of what was happening. My
dad
was breathing
heavily
, and his
body
was covered
in sweat as he
put
up a battle with the demon
inside of
him. His face was pale and dark yellow like sand from jaundice that
was caused
by cancer. His
body
was swelled
up twice his size from the deterioration of blood circulation. I
carefully
moved
closer to my
father
to
see
his face. I could
tell
from his
eyes
that he didn’t want to
leave
us
yet
, and he was staring
directly
into my
eyes
as if he was trying to
tell
me something.
I
held his
hands
as
tightly
as I
possibly
could and prayed. My mom and aunties
also
got
to the bedroom,
but
his spasms
were gone
by the
time
they arrived. The
monitor
returned
back
to normal, and his breathing slowed
down
. My mother, then,
let
out a loud sigh of relief and in her tear-filled
eyes
, I could
tell
how terrified she was. Around 6 am, my
grandma
came along with the
doctors
. The
doctor
did the procedural treatments and injected
some
morphine to
ease
my
father’s
pain. We sat in the
room
for a whole morning, and the
monitor’s
alert
went
off numerous
times
. “The condition seemed to have aggravated. ” The
doctor
said
emotionlessly
. “His blood pressure is too low, and we can
only
maintain his life using medicine and nutrition fluids. ” My heart ached in tremendous pain,
but
I
knew
what it meant.
Before
I
knew
it, my
grandma
went
down
to the kitchen, and she had brought a bowl of Chinese herbal, medicinal fluids “Son, take a sip, this will
make
you feel better. ” My
dad
hasn’t eaten anything in the last three days
because
he vomited
everything
that
went
down
his throat. The medicine
was made
from
different
types of grass and
leaves
, it had an
extremely
bitter taste to it, and it smelled like rotten meats.
Undoubtedly
, I
knew
my
dad
would suffer more if he drank it. “
Leave
him alone! ” I ran inside and yelled at my
grandma
. “If he doesn’t drink anything, how will he recover? ” My
grandma
shouted
back
and
continued
to urge my
father
to take a sip.
Finally
, I snatched the bowl of medicine from her
hands
and dropped it on the floor. “
Leave
! ” I said
angrily
. Looking shocked, my
grandma
left
the room.

Everyone
was overwhelmed
by my reaction to my
grandma
, including my
dad
. In their
eyes
, I was always a
good
, courteous kid who respected elders, and my unexpected reaction took everyone by surprise. “ I want to talk with you,
Dandan
,
My
dad
whispered
feebly
, and those were the
first
words to
come
out of my
father’s
mouth in days. Knowing my
father
wanted to have a private conversation with me, my uncles and aunts stepped out of the
room
. “
Dandan
” was the Chinese nickname that my
dad
called me by when he was healthy. When he was healthy, he would
also
most
certainly
criticize me and punish me for disrespecting my grandmother.

“You aren’t a child anymore, you
have to
learn to be more mature,
my
dad
started
gently
. I nodded, “I will
still
be looking after you,
just
a
different
place,
so
promise to look after our family. ” my
dad
continued
. “
But
where? ” I cried
because
I couldn’t hold
back
my tears. “I will be one of the
stars
, watching you high up in the sky. ” “There are
so
many
of them, you are going to
get
better! ” I hiccuped in response and
continued
to
let
my tears stream
down
my face. “
Dandan
,
sometimes
, life won’t go as you planned,
but
you can
make
the best out of it,
and he
continued
, “I will be the brightest one”. Then, the
doctor
came in to do an hourly
check
-in and I didn’t
get
the chance to answer my
dad
. I
went
downstairs to apologize to my
grandma
and
told
her I understood her feelings. She comforted me and said, “both of us
were driven
by our nerves. ” It was then when I heard the
monitor’s
incessant beeping
sound
again
filled the entire
house
. We all charged
back
into my
dad’s
room
to
see
the unconscious
body
of my
father
, lying
helplessly
in his
bed
. “The patient is unconscious right
now
. ”, the
doctor
declared, and
everything
became a blur after that. I remember holding on to his
hands
firmly
while the alarm
kept
going off. The
alert
was ringing for ten minutes straight when it
stopped
suddenly
, and my
father
opened his
eyes
to
get
a final look at every one. He, then, focused on the sky
outside of
the window, took a look at the world for the last
time
. “Beep…” this
time
, his heartbeat flattened, and the
doctor
announced his
time
of death.

It felt as though my world was falling apart. After what seemed like hours of silence crying in my
bed
, I fell asleep. When I woke up, the world
was covered
in blackness. In the sky, there
still
weren't any
clouds
, the
starlights
were
still
dim, and I couldn’t
stop
but
feel disappointed.
But
just
when I was about to close my
eyes
again
, I caught a glimpse of something shining in the sky: it was the brightest star that my
father
was talking about. I
knew
it was far away,
yet
it felt
so
close. I don't know if it was my tears or the
stars
,
but
it was shining
so
brightly
.
I
stared at the star for as long as I can remember, and I
knew
my
father
would always be right there, looking after
everything
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IELTS essay The brightest star in the sky

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
1373 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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