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Some people think that all university students should study whatever they Like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study Subjects tnat will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they Like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study Subjects tnat will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. 0AndQ
The majority of the people believe that all the students who attend college can choose their academic subjects as they wish. Whereas, some think that the students should only be taught the subjects that are beneficial to the society like modern technologies. However, I reckon that the teenagers should have the opportunity to select the subject as everyone will not be interested in technology, other areas should also be promoted else there will be a lack of people in many other areas as well. To commence with, children who pass out with flying colors from the school will have the ambition to achieve. Some may be good in arts whereas, others will be a genius in maths, and so on. If teenagers are encouraged in the path they are passionate about, students would not face difficulties in academics rather than imposing the subjects they are least interested in. In a recent survey conducted in India, about 30 percent of the students are compelled by their parents to choose the subjects of their interest which has led the children to depression due to pressure. If they are allowed to select the subjects they wish, we can have happier and healthier students. Undoubtedly, we require passionate students in science as well for the country's development. For that reason, the government can conduct scholarship exams starting from schools so that the interested children can write and decide their path from that age. Also, seminars can be conducted in schools to enhance the knowledge and share the requirement of people in science and technology. They need to understand the significance of advanced technologies needed for the country's development. In a nutshell, I agree that we require intellectual students in the field of science but we should understand the fact that the students cannot be compelled to choose anything. Every child is talented in their way and we need to motivate the way they choose by guiding them appropriately.
The majority of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who attend college can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
their academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
as they wish.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be taught
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that are beneficial to the society like modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
.
However
, I reckon that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should have the opportunity to select the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
as everyone will not
be interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, other areas should
also
be promoted
else there will be a lack of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other areas
as well
.

To commence with, children who pass out with flying colors from the school will have the ambition to achieve.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
may
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "is".
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in arts whereas, others will be a genius in
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are encouraged
in the path they are passionate about,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would not face difficulties in academics
rather
than imposing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
they are least interested in. In a recent survey conducted in India, about 30 percent of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are compelled
by their parents to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
of their interest which has led the children to depression due to pressure. If they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to select the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
they wish, we can have happier and healthier students.

Undoubtedly
, we require passionate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in science
as well
for the country's development. For that reason, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can conduct scholarship exams starting from schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the interested children can write and decide their path from that age.
Also
, seminars can
be conducted
in schools to enhance the knowledge and share the requirement of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. They need to understand the significance of advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
needed for the country's development.

In a nutshell, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that we require intellectual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the field of science
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should understand the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
cannot
be compelled
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
anything. Every child
is talented
in their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
way and
we need to motivate the way they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
by guiding them
appropriately
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that all university students should study whatever they Like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study Subjects tnat will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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