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the biggest threat to the environment is that there are toomey people in the world

the biggest threat to the environment is that there are toomey people in the world p5bO9
Some people believe that overpopulation is the greatest danger that the environment faces. I completely disagree with this point of view. There are a number of threats to the environment that are greater than simply population sizes. The first of these is air pollution, particularly pollution caused by the burning of fossil fuels, which is a direct contributor to climate change. This global increase in temperatures is expected to lead to increases in ocean surface levels, changes in weather patterns and the destruction of habitats which are vital to support various currently endangered species. Ultimately, this damage is a result, not of the number of people on the planet, but of the energy sources people are choosing to use. Another danger that exceeds that of overpopulation is plastics in our oceans. Currently, millions of tons of plastic are floating in our oceans, breaking down into microplastics which enter the food chain. Also, larger pieces of plastic are choking waterways and forming giant patches in our oceans, which is responsible for the deaths of many coastal birds and larger marine animals. However, this problem cannot be blamed on total population sizes as certain countries such as Japan have large populations but little plastic pollution due to their effective recycling programs. In conclusion, the greatest dangers to earth, climate change and damage from plastic, are due to human behavior rather than the total number of people in the world. Therefore, I believe that overpopulation is not the environment’s greatest threat.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that overpopulation is the greatest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
that the environment faces. I completely disagree with this point of view.

There are a number of threats to the environment that are greater than
simply
population sizes. The
first
of these is air pollution,
particularly
pollution caused by the burning of fossil fuels, which is a direct contributor to climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. This global increase in temperatures is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to lead to increases in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ocean
surface levels,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in weather patterns and the destruction of habitats which are vital to support various
currently
endangered species.
Ultimately
, this damage is a result, not of the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on the planet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
of the energy sources
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are choosing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.

Another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
that exceeds that of overpopulation is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastics
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oceans
.
Currently
, millions of tons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
are floating in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oceans
, breaking down into microplastics which enter the food chain.
Also
, larger pieces of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
are choking waterways and forming giant patches in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oceans
, which is responsible for the deaths of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
coastal birds and larger marine animals.
However
, this problem cannot
be blamed
on total population sizes as certain countries such as Japan have large populations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
pollution due to their effective recycling programs.

In conclusion
, the greatest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
to earth, climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and damage from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
, are due to human behavior
rather
than the total number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world.
Therefore
, I believe that overpopulation is not the environment’s greatest threat.
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IELTS essay the biggest threat to the environment is that there are toomey people in the world

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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