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Many people work long hours to make enough money for everyday life and have little time to spend with family and entertainment. What are the causes and solutions to this situation? Give explanations and examples to support the arguments in the essay.

Many people work long hours to make enough money for everyday life and have little time to spend with family and entertainment. What are the causes and solutions to this situation? Give explanations and examples to support the arguments in the essay. MmwDQ
Persueing for more money in a cost of loosing family time is not good an insvestment. Every individual require money to live life both happily and prosparily. Many people do Jobs while others do Business to earn vast amount of dollars. In low salary pakages as well as higher leaving cost are major factors for individual to work more then jobs hours, To mitigate this effects individual needs to be heigher education while investing money wicely. Lower salary pakages per month in working institutions are responsible to work 10 to 12 hours normally to get extra paid and support family setution appart from normal eight hours job. Many employee do usallly two to four over time three to five times in a week or even work on week of to get some extra dollars. Just as my friend jemmy working in resturnt usally work 12 hours a day job in which 4 hours overtime daily to get earn extra money for his family. This is one of the two reason why individual need to work extra time. On the other side higher leaving cost just as higher house rent, costly daily essential goods and taxes are common burden on citizens. Earning less and paying more is big headac foe low earing individual. Second problem with my friend jems is he earn 500$ a month while his average expance is 525$ to eliminate this gape he always work more then working hours. Money always creats money, but investing small saving in Stock market or Mutual Fundas will gives many higher return in long future which helps in crating welth and support family. Just I start investing small as 50$ saving par months in Mutual funds which really gathering much higher money than I imagine. Appart from this getting higher education and getting job in multinational company is vey good option. I joined multinational company two years age with 8000$ pae month salary which is now increased to 12000$ par month. And I am saving very big ammont of money now. Good tartary education with job in well-reputed industries and smart investment not makes individual more and more wealthier but also helps in reduceing working hours and allow some quality time with family and friend by going in resturants and watching movies in thearator.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Persueing
for more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in a cost of loosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
an
Possible spelling mistake found.
insvestment
. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
life both
happily
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
prosparily
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jobs
while others do Business to earn vast amount of dollars. In low salary
Possible spelling mistake found.
pakages
as well
as higher leaving cost are major factors for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
, To mitigate this effects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
needs to be
Possible spelling mistake found.
heigher
education while investing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
Possible spelling mistake found.
wicely
.

Lower salary
Possible spelling mistake found.
pakages
per
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month
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
institutions are responsible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
10 to 12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
normally
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
paid and support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
Possible spelling mistake found.
setution
Possible spelling mistake found.
appart
from normal eight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Possible agreement error. The noun employee seems to be countable; consider using: "Many employees".
Many employee
do
Possible spelling mistake found.
usallly
two to four over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
three to five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
in a week or even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on week of to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
dollars.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
as my friend jemmy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
resturnt
Possible spelling mistake found.
usally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
a day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in which 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
overtime daily to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. This is one of the two reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. On the other side higher leaving cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
rent, costly daily essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and taxes are common burden on citizens. Earning less and paying more is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Possible spelling mistake found.
headac
foe low
Possible spelling mistake found.
earing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
. Second problem with my friend
Possible spelling mistake found.
jems
is he earn
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$500".
500$
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
while his average
Possible spelling mistake found.
expance
is
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$525".
525$
to eliminate this gape he always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
hours.

Money always
Possible spelling mistake found.
creats
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
investing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
saving in Stock market or Mutual
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fundas
will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "give"
gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
higher return in long future which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in crating
Possible spelling mistake found.
welth
and support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
investing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
as
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$50".
50$
saving par
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
months
in Mutual funds which
really
gathering much higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
than I imagine.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Appart
from this getting higher education and getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
vey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
two years age with
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$8000".
8000$
Possible spelling mistake found.
pae
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
salary which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
increased to
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$12000".
12000$
par
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
. And I am saving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Possible spelling mistake found.
ammont
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
Possible spelling mistake found.
tartary
education with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in well-reputed industries and smart investment not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
more and
Use only "wealthier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more wealthier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
reduceing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and friend by going in
Possible spelling mistake found.
resturants
and watching movies in
Possible spelling mistake found.
thearator
.
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IELTS essay Many people work long hours to make enough money for everyday life and have little time to spend with family and entertainment. What are the causes and solutions to this situation? Give explanations and examples to support the arguments in the essay.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
382 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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