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The best way to prevent people from smoking is to impose high taxes on tobacco products. In this way, people will be less likely to develop a long-term addiction to smoking. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The best way to prevent people from smoking is to impose high taxes on tobacco products. In this way, people will be less likely to develop a long-term addiction to smoking. BMxWV
Children always need to be told about the characteristics of a good human in order to foster their humanity and moral abilities in society. Some people believe that children should be taught these traits in school, others consider parents responsible for this. While I agree that school has an important role in children's life and behavior, I believe that parents have more remarkable roles in this field. On the one hand, family is the first place that people were born in it and mostly live in this place until they get married. The period of childhood and teenager are passing with family, and in these times, the characteristics and behaviors of the person are constructed. As a result, parent's attitudes at home and outside can be effected on the behavior of their kids. For example, if the father of a family tries hard to support his kids and be a beneficial person in society, his children will learn hard work traits, and they always endeavor to be useful people like their fathers. On the other hand, a school is a place that pupils enter from childhood, and they encounter different people with various attitudes. Despite the fact that teachers can guide students to be a good member of society in future, the behaviors of children's friends can have more impact on them. Consequently, children have to be aware of selecting their friends in order to they be useful in future. In conclusion, while I agree school has some effects on children's attitude, I believe that the role of the family in children's behavior is more than other factors since a huge part of our personality is created in this environment. But, people have their own unique opinions about the place of forming children's behaviors.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
always need to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
about the characteristics of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
human in order to foster their humanity and moral abilities in society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be taught
these traits in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, others consider parents responsible for this. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
, I believe that parents have more remarkable roles in this field.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were born
in it and
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
until they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married. The period of childhood and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
are passing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, and in these times, the characteristics and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
of the person
are constructed
.
As a result
, parent's attitudes at home and outside can
be effected
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
of their kids.
For example
, if the father of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
tries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to support his kids and be a beneficial person in society, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work traits, and they always endeavor to be useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like their fathers.

On the other hand
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
that pupils enter from childhood, and they encounter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with various attitudes. Despite the fact that teachers can guide students to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
member of society
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
friends can have more impact on them.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be aware of selecting their friends in order to they be useful
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

In conclusion
, while I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
attitude, I believe that the role of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
is more than other factors since a huge part of our personality
is created
in this environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
unique opinions about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
of forming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
.
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IELTS essay The best way to prevent people from smoking is to impose high taxes on tobacco products. In this way, people will be less likely to develop a long-term addiction to smoking.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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