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The best way to learn about other cultures is to work in multinational organisation do you agree or disagree?

The best way to learn about other cultures is to work in multinational organisation qBXG
It is true that nowadays people tend to move towers who was his to enhance the new culture, due to the reason of doing work in multinational organisation. in this paper is that it depends on the people how they gain the benefit, while the travel other nation for work. First and foremost reason, people nowadays motivate other countries to fulfill their basic necessity and demands to achieve the goal in the life. this indicates that to achieve something in the life especially if they need more wages. For example oversees the multinational companies prefer more skillful labour to pay more money. Moreover, the new generation want to be social with others and they want to enhance and get to be aware about different cultures. Indicates that people want to more familiar with others especially related to to their organisation, which helps them to get progress in the life. in addition learning new culture help to communicate with different people and make more convenient to understand. On the other hand, people nowadays forgotten about their own traditional culture, while they don't know that how much important is there about their own culture; physically each and every must represent their culture in the multinational companies to know where they belong. For instance people who travel overseas to work and make money can forgotten and gradually faded. On the points mentioned above, although we want to learn new culture but don't forget about our own culture. Learning new culture help to progress in work.
It is true that nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
towers who was his to enhance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, due to the reason of doing work in multinational
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
this paper is that it depends on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
how they gain the benefit, while the travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nation for work.

First
and foremost reason,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries to fulfill their basic necessity and demands to achieve the goal in the life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
indicates that to achieve something in the life
especially
if they need more wages.
For example
oversees the multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
prefer more skillful
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
to pay more money.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be social with
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
others and
they
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want
to enhance and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to be aware about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. Indicates that
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people
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want
to more familiar with others
especially
related
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
progress in the life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
learning
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new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to communicate with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more convenient to understand.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
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people
nowadays forgotten about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, while they don't know that how much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is there about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
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culture
;
physically
each and every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
represent their
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culture
in the multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to know where they belong.
For instance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who travel overseas to work and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money can
Did you mean "forget" or "be forgotten"?
forgotten
and
gradually
faded.

On the points mentioned above, although we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
don't forget about our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. Learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to progress in work.
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IELTS essay The best way to learn about other cultures is to work in multinational organisation

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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