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seniors and health expectancy

seniors and health expectancy 5olA
It is indeed an encouraging trend that overall life spans have increased and it only shows the proportional index of health quotient enjoyed by a society at large. Even a few decades ago, the trends were different and people above 60, often addressed as senior citizens could only think of retirement and settling down in their places of comfort or with their children for a secured and relaxed last few years. But today there are the so called 'senior citizens' actively running academic institutions, mentoring fledgling organizations or even running their own enterprise with youthful energy and passion. The advantages that many years of experience can bring into a societies growth and maturity is invaluable. Often seen in mentoring roles, it is very advantageous to have the opinions and views of people who have seen it and done it all. Even though some of the thoughts may not directly be relevant but the idea behind it can be taken into consideration and mulled upon when it would come to important decisions. For instance, an entrepreneurial venture could highly benefit from financial advise from those who have seen cycles of production and service in close quarters. The context may well be different, but some of the suggestions and advise can be looked into with confidence. Even an element of risk taking can be done with confidence when you have some factual experience to back the claims. But it is often seen that once people retire from active service, their value is often disregarded and they become invisible for others. Many choose to stay out of lime light too and it could be a respected personal choice. But, in my humble opinion, it would be well worth the effort to approach these experienced minds on an advisory capacity to guide and handhold in areas where its appropriate. It would not only create a valuable thread of thoughts but also make them realise the respect they deserve for having seen and lived life closely.
It is
indeed
an encouraging trend that
overall
life spans have increased and it
only
shows
the proportional index of health quotient enjoyed by a society at large. Even a few decades ago, the trends were
different
and
people
above 60,
often
addressed as senior citizens could
only
think
of retirement and settling down in their places of comfort or with their children for a secured and relaxed last few years.
But
today
there are the
so
called 'senior citizens'
actively
running academic institutions, mentoring fledgling organizations or even running their
own
enterprise with youthful energy and passion.

The advantages that
many
years of experience can bring into a societies growth and maturity is invaluable.
Often
seen
in mentoring roles, it is
very
advantageous to have the opinions and views of
people
who have
seen
it and done it all.
Even though
some of the
thoughts may not
directly
be relevant
but
the
idea
behind it can
be taken
into consideration and mulled upon when it would
come
to
important
decisions.
For instance
, an entrepreneurial venture could
highly
benefit from financial
advise
from those who have
seen
cycles of production and service in close quarters. The context may well be
different
,
but
some of the
suggestions and advise can
be looked
into with confidence. Even an element of
risk
taking can
be done
with confidence when you have
some
factual experience to back the claims.

But
it is
often
seen
that once
people
retire from active service, their value is
often
disregarded and
they become invisible for others.
Many
choose to stay out of lime light too and it could be a respected personal choice.
But
, in my humble opinion, it would be well worth the effort to approach these experienced minds on an advisory capacity to guide and handhold in areas where its appropriate. It would not
only
create a valuable thread of thoughts
but
also
make
them
realise
the respect they deserve for having
seen
and
lived
life
closely
.
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IELTS essay seniors and health expectancy

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
331 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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