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Hypermarket is more advantageous to the consumer than local store.

Hypermarket is more advantageous to the consumer than local store. Aw593
Opening the fridge to find something to eat, but it is empty. Taking a shower, but nothing comes out of the shower bottle. It seems like it is time to go shopping again, but where should you go then. Hypermarket or just a local store. Well, as a consumer, there are some factors that must be considered. Most notably is the price. Of course, it is better to save money. Following that, you ran out of several things after checking into the house, so it must be a place that provides various products. And lastly, if there are a restroom and a proper car park, that would be great too. All of these are why you should go to the hypermarket as it has more benefits for consumers that a local store could not provide. As I mention, price is the most important reason. The entrepreneurs of hypermarkets purchase so many products that are capable of negotiating it as a bargain for a lower price. That is why they can sell it cheaper. Moreover, they always have a campaign or a great deal such as buy 1 get 1 free or a discount. The price even gets lower when it is festival time. The research of Software Advice showed that more than 97 percent of entrepreneurs use this strategy because it is a less risky way to increase sales. It might be a marketing strategy, but I am ok with that as long as I can buy it cheaper. The second benefit of the hypermarket is that you can buy different types of products simultaneously, including in difference brand. For instance, food, beverages, medications, household goods and clothing. They organized it in the category so that it would be more convenient for the customer. Besides the variety of products, they also have many rates price. Therefore the customer can choose what they can afford and satisfaction with. And indeed, you will get products of good quality. Lastly, what makes hypermarket not just that, is the service. Nowadays, people have more other intentions of going to the shopping center. The Mall Group’s study indicated that the first customer’s intention is changing to dining and followed by other affairs such as banking. As a result, they adjusted the tenant mix of the food center and added ATM. Furthermore, on some occasions, they organized events that related to food. These benefit us as a customer since it gives us more than just a shopping experience. Moreover, there are a parking lot and restroom; hence the customer can be even more comfortable. Evidently, these are indeed not found in a local store. If you go there, you might get the things you want. But on the way to shopping, they are worlds apart. It is more than just a shopping place. Many families or groups of friends can gather and hang out here, spending time together and having fun. Many malls try to increase customer satisfaction in this way. And, of course, still keeping the standard and variety of merchandise. In closing, I believe that a hypermarket is a better choice for going shopping. Why go normal, when you can get a better experience.
Opening the fridge to find something to eat,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is empty. Taking a shower,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nothing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
out of the shower bottle. It seems like it is time to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
again,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
where should you go then. Hypermarket or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a local store. Well, as a consumer, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
. Most
notably
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
.
Of course
, it is better to save money. Following that, you ran out of several things after checking into the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a place that provides various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. And
lastly
, if there are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "restrooms"?
restroom
and a proper car park, that would be great too. All of these are why you should go to the hypermarket as it has more benefits for consumers that a local store could not provide.

As I mention,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason. The entrepreneurs of hypermarkets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that are capable of negotiating it as a bargain for a lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
.
That is
why they can sell it cheaper.
Moreover
, they always have a campaign or a great deal such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
1
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
1 free or a discount. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
lower when it is festival time. The research of Software Advice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that more than 97 percent of entrepreneurs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this strategy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a less risky way to increase sales. It might be a marketing strategy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I am ok with that as long as I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it cheaper.

The second benefit of the hypermarket is that you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
simultaneously
, including in difference brand.
For instance
, food, beverages, medications, household
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and clothing. They organized it in the category
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it would be more convenient for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
.
Besides
the variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, they
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
rates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
can choose what they can afford and satisfaction with. And
indeed
, you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality.

Lastly
, what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
hypermarket not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
that, is the service. Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have more other intentions of going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
center. The Mall Group’s study indicated that the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer’s
intention is changing to dining and followed by other affairs such as banking.
As a result
, they adjusted the tenant mix of the food center and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
ATM.
Furthermore
, on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
occasions, they organized
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
that related to food. These benefit us as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
since it gives us more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
experience.
Moreover
, there are a parking lot and
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "restrooms"?
restroom
;
hence
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
can be even more comfortable.

Evidently
, these are
indeed
not found in a local store. If you go there, you might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the things you want.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
on the way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, they are worlds apart. It is more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
place.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
families or groups of friends can gather and hang out here, spending time together and having fun.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
malls try to increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
satisfaction in this way. And,
of course
,
still
keeping the standard and variety of merchandise. In closing, I believe that a hypermarket is a better choice for going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. Why go normal, when you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better experience.
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IELTS essay Hypermarket is more advantageous to the consumer than local store.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
530 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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