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The benefits of an active lifestyle

The benefits of an active lifestyle 0wnXB
Living an active lifestyle is really important for the health of a person. For example, a person who wakes up early every morning, takes a shower then goes to pray Fajr and goes to the gym to do cardio will be happy because he can do alot of things in a short time. However, a person who does not lead an active life he can’t do that. I believe there are many good things of having active life. Also it has many bad things. People who have active lives will be stressed and worried about lots of things and might not have time for family. In my opinion,  l agree with people who likes actively life. I think I will choose being active as it is better.
Living an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
active
lifestyle is
really
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important
for the health of a person.
For example
, a person
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
who


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wakes
up early every morning, takes a shower then goes to pray
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fajr
and goes to the gym to do cardio will be happy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he can do
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of things in a short time.
However
, a person who does not lead an
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active
life he can’t do that. I believe there are
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many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
active
life.
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Also
it has
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many
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bad
things.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who have
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active
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
 and worried about lots of things and might not have time for family. In my opinion,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
l
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agree
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
Did you mean "like"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
likes
actively
life. I
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think
I will choose
If 'choose' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to be".
being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
active
as it is better.

IELTS essay The benefits of an active lifestyle

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
125 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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