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The bar chart below shows the result of a poll of theater-goers on what disturbs them during performances at the theater. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least v.1

The bar chart below shows the result of a poll of theater-goers on what disturbs them during performances at the theater.
Some argue that people in the modern world are in possession of much more knowledge than people of ancient cultures. Though, Others believe that this ignores the accomplishments of the past and places too much emphasis on present achievements. On the one hand, While it is undoubtedly true that modern technologies, such as the internet could not have been imagined in ancient cultures, it is a mistake to view these ancient cultures as ignorant. Few would argue that the builders of the Sphinx were mere primitive cavemen, for example. People at the time had the knowledge they needed to understand and deal with their world and in fact, one argument that is sometimes put forward is that, even with all we know today, we do not have the technology to build the Pyramids of Egypt. On the other hand, Even if we do accept that modern society is richer in technological terms, it is undoubtedly poorer in spiritual terms. Our societies have become so complex that people often become victims to the lifestyles they lead and must face a whole new variety of widespread modern-day problems, such as stress and obesity which affect people in developed countries worldwide. Furthermore, the number of uneducated people still living in poverty with little opportunity to benefit from technological achievements suggests that our modern society is not so advanced after all. In conclusion, however, there is no comparison between what we can achieve today and what people even two hundred years ago could achieve as we now know so much more. The vast majority of people in developed countries are able to benefit from an education system, standard of living, healthcare and life expectancy that is so much more advanced than ever before. It is my personal opinion that although we must remember and respect ancient cultures, modern day achievements have brought us to the peak of human civilisation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
world are in possession of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more knowledge than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. Though, Others believe that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignores
the accomplishments of the past and places too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
emphasis on present achievements.

On the one hand, While it is
undoubtedly
true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
technologies, such as the internet could not have
been imagined
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, it is a mistake to view these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
as ignorant. Few would argue that the builders of the Sphinx were mere primitive cavemen,
for example
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
at the time had the knowledge they needed to understand and deal with their world and in fact, one argument
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
put forward is that, even with all we know
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, we do not have the technology to build the Pyramids of Egypt.

On the other hand
, Even if we do accept that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
society is richer in technological terms, it is
undoubtedly
poorer in spiritual terms. Our societies have become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
complex that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
become victims to the lifestyles they lead and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
face a whole new variety of widespread modern-day problems, such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and obesity which affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
worldwide.
Furthermore
, the number of uneducated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
living in poverty with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
opportunity to benefit from technological achievements suggests that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
society is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
advanced
after all
.

In conclusion
,
however
, there is no comparison between what we can achieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
and what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even two hundred years ago could achieve as we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more. The vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
are able to benefit from an education system, standard of living, healthcare and life expectancy
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more advanced than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. It is my personal opinion that although we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
remember and respect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
day achievements have brought us to the peak of human
Possible spelling mistake. 'civilisation' is British English.
civilisation
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The bar chart below shows the result of a poll of theater-goers on what disturbs them during performances at the theater.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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