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The average standard of people’s health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The average standard of people’s health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. with this statement? kAoO
Nowadays, there has been much discussion concerning the average standard of people's health in the future. Some people believe that those who live in the next generation will have better health conditions due to various health facilities and the advancement of technologies. However, I believe that people in the next decades will be less healthier due to unhealthy diet and lack of exercises To begin with, it is claimed that people in the future will be less prone to diseases. First, there will be plenty of health supporting facilities such as sports centres which support the awareness of healthy lifestyles. For instance, having mushroomed in every corner of cities, gym centres will attract people to join their program. Therefore, people going to the gym will be healthier. In addition, the advancement of technologies will help the healthcare sector to prevent any dangerous diseases. To illustrate, doctors using artificial intelligence to maintain their patient's health conditions. Nevertheless, I disagree with those aforementioned arguments. I believe that people living in the future will be more threatened by various illness and diseases due to their poor lifestyles. First of all, the awareness of healthy diet has dropped significantly. People having busy life will prefer to consume fast food, than the healthy ones. This lifestyle has a detrimental impact on health such as high cholesterol level which lead to heart diseases. Moreover, the development of technology also contribute to the degradation of human's health condition. People spending their time on gadget will have lack of movements, which have an adverse consequence to obesity. It is predicted that the number of obese people will grow in the next following years. In conclusion, some people argue that the standard of people's health will be better in the future due to the existence of various facilities and technologies. Nonetheless, I believe that people living in the future will be more prone to diseases because of their poor lifestyles.
Nowadays, there has been much discussion concerning the average standard of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
next
generation will have better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
conditions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
facilities and the advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
.
However
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
next
decades will be
Non-standard use of the comparative or superlative. Did you mean "less healthy"?
less healthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to unhealthy diet and lack of exercises

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it
is claimed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
will be less prone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
.
First
, there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
supporting facilities such as sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
which support the awareness of healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
.
For instance
, having mushroomed in every corner of cities, gym
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
will attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
their program.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going to the gym will be healthier.
In addition
, the advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the healthcare sector to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
. To illustrate, doctors using artificial intelligence to maintain their patient's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
conditions.

Nevertheless
, I disagree with those aforementioned arguments. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
will be more threatened by various illness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to their poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the awareness of healthy diet has dropped
significantly
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
having busy life will prefer to consume
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food,
Did you mean "then"?
than
the healthy ones. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
has a detrimental impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
such as high cholesterol level which lead to heart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
.
Moreover
, the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
also
contribute to the degradation of human's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
condition.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
spending their time on gadget will have lack of movements, which have an adverse
The usual preposition to use after "consequence" is not "to". Did you mean "consequence of", "consequence for", or "consequence on"?
consequence to
obesity. It
is predicted
that the number of obese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will grow in the
next
following years.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the standard of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
will be better in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the existence of various facilities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
. Nonetheless, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
will be more prone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
.
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IELTS essay The average standard of people’s health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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