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STUDYING and extra curricular activity

STUDYING and extra curricular activity KB2L
Some people participate in extra curricular activities to gain more knowledge and experience, whereas others simply focus on their goals such as academics studies or work, I think adapting both the academics goals as well as extra curricular activities are essential to improve person’s knowledge and experience. Although getting involve in both the academic and extra curricular activities gives practical and real life experience apart from the theoretical knowledge. Therefore everyone should show their interest in other activities besides academics, as a result it explore their hidden skills as well as makes them competitive and self confident too. Hence everyone should get practical knowledge besides theory knowledge. By gaining experience and knowledge from extra curricular activity people can give weight to their C. Vs by mentioning this extra curricular activity to get competitive job offers and to get more opportunities in future. Even though they can use these social skills in their bad time of their life to get some earnings through their previous experience in such activities as a result it will be very useful for the society and for the nation to have more skilled people in their country. Therefore, it is essential to get all rounder in most of the activities along with academic to make life easier. For example, joining cookery classes as their extra curricular activity which gives knowledge about different cusines, deserts, ingredients and so on. However, we can use these activities and enhance our skills, also can earn through teaching the same to others as well as forwarding this skills to next generation to continue the activity for next generation. Hence, I believe that extra curricular activities along with academic studies, both are equally important to improve a person’s knowledge and experience.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
participate in
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra curricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
to gain more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, whereas others
simply
focus on their goals such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
studies or work, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
adapting both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
goals
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra curricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and experience.

Although getting involve in both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
and
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra curricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
gives practical and real life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
apart from the theoretical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
everyone should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their interest in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
besides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
,
as a result
it
Did you mean "explores"?
explore
their hidden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them competitive and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self confident
too.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
everyone should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
besides
theory knowledge.

By gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
from
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra curricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can give weight to their C. Vs by mentioning this
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra curricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
competitive job offers and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more opportunities
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
Even though
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
time of their life to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
earnings through their previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
as a result
it will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful for the society and for the nation to have more skilled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in their country.

Therefore
, it is essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
all rounder
in most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life easier.
For example
, joining cookery classes as their
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra curricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
which gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
cusines
, deserts, ingredients and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
However
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and enhance our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
also
can earn through teaching the same to others
as well
as forwarding
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to
next
generation to continue the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
for
next
generation.

Hence
, I believe that
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra curricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
studies, both are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
a person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
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IELTS essay STUDYING and extra curricular activity

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
289 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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