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Write about the following topic: The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

: The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. with this statement? LWMV
The statement claims that the average standard of people's health in the future is probable to decrease when comapring to the situations in these days. In my point of view, the general health of society is becoming better, and I believe that this trend will not change in the future. Therefore, I strongly disagree with the statement. First of all, the contemporary medicine is on the higher level then it was few years ago. Moreover, scientists and medical personnel have broader knowledge, that is why there are more efficient solutions to the diseases. I am convinced that in the future the medical technology development will contribute to the harmful problems mitigation. For instance, 50 years ago, people tend to die because of the flu, however, nowadays, this disease is able to be treated by the medicines that were discovered. In the future, sicknesses that are untreatable right now, will not be harmful anymore. In addition, it is commonly known that people tend to live longer now then it was couple of years ago. Secondly, it is easy to notice that more and more people these days tend to focus on health. The reason for that might be wealthier society, and an improved accessability to the medical centres and medicines. If people spend more money to prevent diseases, the average standard of the health will be higher than it is now. For example, it is proven that the more significant number of population buys organic and salubrious food, which contains less sugar and hamrful fats. As the result, if these generations become older, there will be less heart diseases caused by saturated fats. In conclusion, medicine is the discipline that constantly evolves, therefore, doctors are likely to have a broader knowledge and better equipment to heal people in the future. Additionally, wealthier society will be able to spend more money to prevent diseases. Therefore, I believe that in the future, the average people's health will be on higher standard than it is now.
The statement claims that the average standard of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
is probable to decrease when
Possible spelling mistake found.
comapring
to the situations in these days. In my point of view, the general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of society is becoming better, and I believe that this trend will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
Therefore
, I
strongly
disagree with the statement.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the contemporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
is on the higher level then it was few years ago.
Moreover
, scientists and medical personnel have broader knowledge,
that is
why there are more efficient solutions to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
. I
am convinced
that in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
the medical technology development will contribute to the harmful
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "problems'" or "problem's"?
problems
mitigation.
For instance
, 50 years ago,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the flu,
however
, nowadays, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
is able to
be treated
by the medicines that
were discovered
. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, sicknesses that are untreatable right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
, will not be harmful anymore.
In addition
, it is
commonly
known that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
then it was
It seems that an article is missing.
couple of
years ago.

Secondly
, it is easy to notice that more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days tend to focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. The reason for that might be wealthier society, and an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
Possible spelling mistake found.
accessability
to the medical
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
and medicines. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend more money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
, the average standard of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
will be higher than it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
.
For example
, it
is proven
that the more significant number of population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buys
organic and salubrious food, which contains less sugar and
Possible spelling mistake found.
hamrful
fats. As the result, if these generations become older, there will be less heart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
caused by saturated fats.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
is the discipline that
constantly
evolves,
therefore
, doctors are likely to have a broader knowledge and better equipment to heal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
Additionally
, wealthier society will be able to spend more money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
.
Therefore
, I believe that in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, the average
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
will be on higher standard than it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
.
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IELTS essay : The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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