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Many people in the music business feel that illegal music sites on the Internet are serious threat to the industry and more should be done to prevent this from operating. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Many people in the music business feel that illegal music sites on the Internet are serious threat to the industry and more should be done to prevent this from operating. with this view? gO0l
In the 21st era, people have been listening to music to reduce their stress. In the music industry many individuals said that the illegal sites of music on the social media give many serious causes to the industry and think that everyone has to take some relevant measuresasures to stop them to release illegal songs. This essay is an attempt to address the repercussions of operating legal music. First and foremost, the major cause of illegal music can be on youngsters. In other words, now a days the youngsters have keen interest in listening music and the crime that are shown in music is very dangerous for younger people lives. This type of illegal activity are only shown by illegal sites with this other sites also lose their name. Moreover, the people that are working in industry may lose their jobs. Nobody wants to work in industry due to alot of reasons because no one think to harm their lives. Further, the people show their few interest in music that are related to history and culture. By this the music sites which operates such kind of music can lose their reputation. On contrary, the illegal music sites compose the songs to fulfill the demand of younger people. As well as, such kind of industry wants to become succeed in life but by doing this they ruin the whole life of a person. For instance sometime youngsters started taking drugs by seeing the singers. Suffice to say, the illegal music sites have many causes to the industry but this can only be stopped by taking some joint measures of individual and authorities.
In the 21st era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have been listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals said that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
on the social media give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
serious causes to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relevant
Possible spelling mistake found.
measuresasures
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
them to release
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
songs. This essay is an attempt to address the repercussions of operating legal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
First
and foremost, the major cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can be on youngsters.
In other words
,
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
the youngsters have keen interest in listening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and the crime that
are shown
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
lives
. This type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
activity are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
shown by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
with this other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
also
lose their name.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that are working in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
may lose their jobs. Nobody wants to work in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
due to
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
no one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to harm their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Further
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their
Possible agreement error. The noun interest seems to be countable; consider using: "few interests".
few interest
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
that
are related
to history and culture. By this the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
which operates such kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can lose their reputation. On contrary, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
compose the songs to fulfill the demand of younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
As well
as, such kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
wants to become succeed in life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by doing this they ruin the whole life of a person.
For instance
sometime youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
taking drugs by seeing the singers. Suffice to say, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
causes to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
by taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
joint measures of individual and authorities.
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IELTS essay Many people in the music business feel that illegal music sites on the Internet are serious threat to the industry and more should be done to prevent this from operating. with this view?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
271 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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