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The average life expectancy of a country usually draws a conclusion to medical and hygienic standard.

The average life expectancy of a country usually draws a conclusion to medical and hygienic standard. g81L1
Overweight has always been a treat for human health and nowadays this treat has become more serious and turned to an epidemy in human life. In my opinion reasons like lifestyle and foods are the most important aspects which could be managed by the people in person and governments as the whole. As the time passes, a huge part of human efforts has been focused mainly on decreasing his or her physical activities, make life easier and shift our duties t to machines. Although this has provided the path from physical to mental activity and freed an enormous room for mankind to spend its lifetime on more vital things like science, besides there has been some unwanted side effects. The lesser physical activity we have, the higher possibility to have overweight and this could be the start of a series of treats for our health. One another reason could be mentioned is our food diary. Through the history our food also has been changed a lot and mostly change in a way to shorten the time to prepare the food and make it more and more delicious. Availability and accessibility of different types of meat (which has not been very much available for everyone in the past) beside the two main factors of fatty and salty food, is a good mixture to make every portion or our meal calories in which this also could result on our overweight and increase it dramatically. As we study the reasons, we may find the ways we could encounter with it, and here it is obvious that by blocking receive of calories and increasing our physical exercises we can overcome this issue. In my opinion, we might think that our physical activity and diet looks very personal matter, but the governments also are responsible and could help effectively on this. Costs like insurances and healthcare which are the side result of public overweight, can be spend to prevent It! Actions like public awareness, encouraging food providers to serve healthy foods instead of fast foods and least but not last, provision of more public sport clubs like gyms which is more affordable and accessible for every citizen, all could be actions which draws to conclusion of overcoming overweight.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Overweight
has always been a treat for human health and nowadays this treat has become more serious and turned to an
Possible spelling mistake found.
epidemy
in human life. In my opinion reasons like lifestyle and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects which could
be managed
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in person and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
as the whole.

As the time passes, a huge part of human efforts has
been focused
mainly
on decreasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life easier and shift our duties t to machines. Although this has provided the path from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
to mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
and freed an enormous room for mankind to spend its lifetime on more vital things like science,
besides
there has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unwanted side effects. The lesser
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
we have, the higher possibility to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
and this could be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of a series of treats for our health. One another reason could
be mentioned
is our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
diary. Through the history our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
also
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
a lot and
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in a way to shorten the time to prepare the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it more and more delicious. Availability and accessibility of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of meat (which has not been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much available for everyone in the past) beside the two main factors of fatty and salty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mixture to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
every portion or our meal calories in which this
also
could result on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
and increase it
dramatically
.

As we study the reasons, we may find the ways we could encounter with it, and here it is obvious that by blocking receive of calories and increasing our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exercises we can overcome this issue. In my opinion, we might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
and diet looks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
personal matter,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
also
are responsible and could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
effectively
on this. Costs like insurances and healthcare which are the side result of public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
, can be
Consider using the past participle "spent"?
spend
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
It! Actions like public awareness, encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
providers to serve healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
instead
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and least
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not last, provision of more public sport clubs like gyms which is more affordable and accessible for every citizen, all could be actions which draws to conclusion of overcoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
.

IELTS essay The average life expectancy of a country usually draws a conclusion to medical and hygienic standard.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
373 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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