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The Auditions can support us to be an expertist, it is a good waybecause it is not only just for fun

The Auditions can support us to be an expertist, it is a good waybecause it is not only just for fun GJ7MQ
Nowdays, many people do some effort to show their skill and become famous. They might follow the auditions and become an expertist. That is a good way because it is not only just for fun. For some people being able to do something is not only one reason to be success. They need to get a lot of opportunities to improve their skill. They must work hard and take more auditions. However, this might be good for their career in the future. In other word, competitions are important because this will develop their skill. They will be selected by an expertist and they can learn many things. They have more experience to upgrade their skill. Of course, they will get more benefit if they could win the competition. For example, the Master Chef programme is one of interesting audition in Indonesia. That is for everyone who can cook in good way. The one who involve these programme will show their skill as a chef, meanwhile they learn new skill during the audition. The winner for this programme will get a lot of money and more something expensive. In addition they can be famous and wealthy. This achievement can open the other opportunities like they could have their own restaurant, brand, recipe and etc. In my opinion, the audition programme purpose to selected the skillful person. However, some people join the audition for some interest. In other hand, programmes like this can provide some people that do not have much privilege to make their dream come true.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nowdays
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
and become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
. They might follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
auditions
and become an
Possible spelling mistake found.
expertist
.
That is
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for fun.

For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being able to do something is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one reason to be success. They need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and take more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
auditions
.
However
, this might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their career in the future.

In other word, competitions are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this will develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
. They will
be selected
by an
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
expertist and
they can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things. They have more experience to upgrade their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
.
Of course
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more benefit if they could win the competition.
For example
, the Master Chef
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
is one of interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audition
in Indonesia.
That is
for everyone who can cook in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way. The one who involve these
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
as a chef, meanwhile they learn new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audition
. The winner for this
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money and more something expensive. In
The comma is probably missing here: "addition, they".
addition they
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and wealthy. This achievement can open the other opportunities like they could have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
restaurant, brand, recipe
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
.

In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audition
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
purpose
Did you mean "to select"?
to selected
the skillful person.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audition
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
interest. In other hand,
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
like this can provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that do not have much privilege to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their dream
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
true.
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IELTS essay The Auditions can support us to be an expertist, it is a good waybecause it is not only just for fun

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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