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The are different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music. Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays.

Music is widely considered to be play a vital role in our lives, and there is a wide range of explanations for the necessity of music. Personally, I hold the perception that transitional music, compared with foreign music, is definitely more invaluable. Highlighting the ability of music to refresh our moods and represent cultural identity of a nation will demonstrate this. There are numerous research and corroborating evidence indicating music is of necessity for human’s life. First of all, music is considered to be an efficiently recreational activity for people after a long day of hard work. For example, students and officers, nowadays, have to suffer an enormous stress from their study and work. As a matter of fact, music allows them to refresh their own moods and to be full of beans. Secondly, music is highly appreciated for its representation of culture and customs of a nation. For example, Vietnamese music vividly conveys how industrious the people of this nation are to introduce to the world. From my perspective, the value of traditional music outperform that of the international one, which is by and large listened to by a vast majority of young people, especially teenagers all over the world. Despite the fact that international music is more eventful, catchy and bring us more enthusiasm, they fail to communicate any virtuous or meaningful messages to its audience. In marked contrast to this failure, traditional music has the ability to pass historical and traditional values on to the fellow generations, reminding them of their national identity and cultural heritage. Moreover, international music is widely used, particularly in recent decades, for commercial purposes, mainly to gain reputation for entertainment companies and celebrities. These observations not only cast serious doubts and concern over the originality and true nature of music, but also undermine its artistic value even further, especially in the long run. In conclusion, we must acknowledge that music play a focal part in our lives. While both international and traditional music are essentially important, I strongly believe that the latter music is actually more valuable for its significant contribution to the representation and protection of cultural and national identities of different nations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is
widely
considered to be play a vital role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, and there is a wide range of explanations for the necessity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
Personally
, I hold the perception that transitional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, compared with foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, is definitely more invaluable. Highlighting the ability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
to refresh our moods and represent cultural identity of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
will demonstrate this.

There are numerous research and corroborating evidence indicating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is of necessity for human’s life.
Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is considered
to be an
efficiently
recreational activity for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
after a long day of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work.
For example
, students and officers, nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer an enormous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
from their study and work. As a matter of fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to refresh their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
moods and to be full of beans.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
highly
appreciated for its representation of culture and customs of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
For example
, Vietnamese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
vividly
conveys how industrious the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
are to introduce to the world.

From my perspective, the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
outperform that of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
one, which is by and large listened to by a vast majority of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
all over the world. Despite the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is more eventful, catchy and bring us more enthusiasm, they fail to communicate any virtuous or meaningful messages to its audience. In marked contrast to this failure,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has the ability to pass historical and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
values on to the fellow generations, reminding them of their national identity and cultural heritage.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
,
particularly
in recent decades, for commercial purposes,
mainly
to gain reputation for entertainment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and celebrities. These observations not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cast serious doubts and concern over the originality and true nature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
undermine its artistic value even
further
,
especially
in the long run.

In conclusion
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
acknowledge that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
play a focal part in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. While both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
are
essentially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, I
strongly
believe that the latter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is actually more valuable for its significant contribution to the representation and protection of cultural and national identities of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.

IELTS essay The are different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music. Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
362 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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