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The amount of time spent on sport and exercise be increased in social in order to tackle the problem of overweight children. Do you think this is the best way to deal with problems? What other solutions can you suggest?

Nowadays obesity is a popular issue in every country. They discuss about how they will maintain the healthy balance of the children, if they did not do some exercise. Some people believe that schools should give some extra time for sports and exercise to help them lose some weight. I believe that giving extra curricular activities and exercise is not enough to decrease a number of overweight children. Firstly most children now, are not interested to play outside because they want to play some online games which are not healthy to them. Parents and teachers should not allow students to use any gadgets like cellphones, tablets and etc. while they are young they should discipline them by eating healthy food and doing some exercise. Doing exercise at least 30 minutes will help them to lose weight. Secondly, a healthy body started at home. Guardians will know how to prepare healthy food for her / his children. They should encourage them to start eating vegetables, fruits, fish, drinking milk and water and some healthy diet. Guardian should limiting their children on eating like chocolate and drinking sodas. Eating junk-food is not necessary to children health, which will cause of some disease, like Urinary tract infection (UTI). In conclusion, showing to children that eating healthy food and exercising will encourage them to do the same. Schools in not the one who is responsible for making the children healthy, teachers will help to maintain the healthy balance on the contrary parents should teach them to eat and do exercise to make their children healthy.
Nowadays obesity is a popular issue in every country. They
discuss about how
they will maintain the
healthy
balance of the
children
, if they did not do
some
exercise
.
Some
people
believe that schools should give
some
extra time for sports and
exercise
to
help
them lose
some
weight.

I believe that giving
extra curricular
activities and
exercise
is not
enough
to decrease a number of overweight
children
.
Firstly
most
children
now
, are not interested to play outside
because
they want to play
some
online games which are not
healthy
to them. Parents and teachers should not
allow
students to
use
any gadgets like cellphones, tablets
and etc
. while they are young they should discipline them by
eating
healthy
food and doing
some
exercise
. Doing
exercise
at least 30 minutes will
help
them to lose weight.

Secondly
, a
healthy
body
started
at home. Guardians will know how to prepare
healthy
food for her / his
children
. They should encourage them to
start
eating
vegetables, fruits, fish, drinking milk and water and
some
healthy
diet. Guardian should
limiting
their
children
on
eating
like chocolate and drinking sodas.
Eating
junk-food is not necessary to
children
health, which will cause of
some
disease, like Urinary tract infection (UTI).

In conclusion
, showing to
children
that
eating
healthy
food and exercising will encourage them to do the same. Schools in not the one who is responsible for making the
children
healthy
, teachers will
help
to maintain the
healthy
balance
on the contrary
parents should teach them to eat and do
exercise
to
make
their
children
healthy
.
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IELTS essay The amount of time spent on sport and exercise be increased in social in order to tackle the problem of overweight children. Do you think this is the best way to deal with problems? What other solutions can you suggest?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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