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Some people think that children's free time must include educational activities otherwise they will waste their time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that educational activities should be added to children leasure time otherwise it will be wasted. I think the former idea is not wise because mostly children spend their free time by playing games as well as they need rest from hectic school schedule. People have different reasons for believing that extra activities with some purpose must be done by children rather than simply sitting because by utilizing leasure hours knowledge can be gained. People think that mostly children waste their time by making noise, fighting or simply sitting but if educational activities are done during that time it will be fruitful for them as they will be learning. Likewise, children keeps on running around and make noise whenever they are free although it is enjoyable for them but adults used to get irritated and consider as time waste. Also, when children are doing some assignments parents feel like children are working hard and utilizing time properly. However, my view coincide with those who think child must get free time as it is not a waste of time because children mostly play during extra time which is not a waste of time. Children learn more by playing rather than reading or writing in leasure time. For example, students who are involved in extra curriculum activities are better in both academic and sports. Being physically active makes them active both in mind and body so, it is very beneficial. Additionally, after spending lengthy hours at school children must get a little break from hectic schedule and get some time to do things they like because it helps to make them fresh and prepare them for next tasks. In conclusion, I believe free time should be given to children to do things of their interest and educational activities must not be added always because children will be doing things of their interest.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible spelling mistake found.
leasure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
otherwise
it will
be wasted
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the former
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is not wise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by playing games
as well
as they need rest from hectic school schedule.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons for believing that extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
purpose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be done
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
rather
than
simply
sitting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
by utilizing
Possible spelling mistake found.
leasure
hours knowledge can
be gained
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by making noise, fighting or
simply
sitting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are done
during that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
it will be fruitful for them as they will be learning.
Likewise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
on running around and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
noise whenever they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
although it is enjoyable for
Use a comma before ‘but’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
irritated and consider as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
.
Also
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
assignments parents feel like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and utilizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
properly
.

However
, my view coincide with those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as it is not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
mostly
play during extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which is not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
learn more by playing
rather
than reading or writing in
Possible spelling mistake found.
leasure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
For example
, students who
are involved
in extra curriculum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are better in both academic and sports. Being
physically
active
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them active both in mind and body
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial.
Additionally
, after spending lengthy hours at school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
break from hectic schedule and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do things they like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them fresh and prepare them for
next
tasks.

In conclusion
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to do things of their interest and educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be doing things of their interest.
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IELTS essay Some people think that children's free time must include educational activities otherwise they will waste their time.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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