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The amount of time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in schools in order to tackle the problem of overweight children? Do you think this the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest?

The amount of time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in schools in order to tackle the problem of overweight children? Do you think this the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest? glbg
It is the globally case that youngsters are being overweight, and many people support that physical activities should be increased in school curriculum. However, I think that exposing children to exercise may not the key role for this problem, and there are various measures which could be applied to face with this. At the first place, it is believed that exercise is an indispensable part of child’s growing process. However, the bodies of children are not fully developed, the excessive of workout may make children feeling exhausted and insufficient to focus on their studies. Consequently, increasing the time of exercise may not make the children to lose some weight, but result in mitigating of children health conditions and academic performance. Therefore, I suppose that this is not the optimal approach to solve the issue. In addition, schools and parents could be taken in account for improving this situation. It is recognized that people who have healthy eating habits, would have a large differences health outcome. Hence, children should be well-educated about ingredients and nutrition, as a result, they could obtain a deeply health conscious. To be specific, school should teach their student about benefits of healthy and balancing diet, as well as the dangers of unhealthy food. In terms of parenting, adolescents are usually influenced by commercial advertising to eat fast food, so that parents should constitute their kid’s meal plan such as restricting them to consume sweet and junk food. In conclusion, I deem that fitness would not be the prime technique to prevent children from obesity. The best approaching could be regarding to education about nutrition and promoting children with active lifestyle.
It is the globally case that youngsters are being overweight, and
many
people
support that physical activities should
be increased
in school curriculum.
However
, I
think
that exposing
children
to exercise may not the key role for this problem, and there are various measures which could
be applied
to face with this.

At the
first
place, it
is believed
that exercise is an indispensable part of child’s growing process.
However
, the bodies of
children
are not
fully
developed,
the excessive of
workout may
make
children
feeling exhausted and insufficient to focus on their studies.
Consequently
, increasing the time of exercise may not
make
the
children
to lose
some
weight,
but
result in mitigating of
children
health conditions and academic performance.
Therefore
, I suppose that this is not the optimal approach to solve the issue.
In addition
, schools and parents could
be taken
in account for improving this situation.

It
is recognized
that
people
who have healthy eating habits, would have a large
differences
health outcome.
Hence
,
children
should be well-educated about ingredients and nutrition,
as a result
, they could obtain a
deeply health
conscious. To be specific, school should teach their student about benefits of healthy and balancing diet,
as well
as the
dangers
of unhealthy food. In terms of parenting, adolescents are
usually
influenced by commercial advertising to eat
fast
food,
so
that parents should constitute their kid’s meal plan such as restricting them to consume sweet and junk food.

In conclusion
, I deem that fitness would not be the prime technique to
prevent
children
from obesity. The best approaching could be
regarding to
education about nutrition and promoting
children
with active lifestyle.
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IELTS essay The amount of time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in schools in order to tackle the problem of overweight children? Do you think this the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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