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The amount of drinkable water for people is decreasing. Why is this? What can be done?

The amount of drinkable water for people is decreasing. Why is this? What can be done? BJMWp
The quantity of drinkable water for people is dropping. There are some possible factors that effects its lack and also several solutions to keep the source of drinkable water. The percentage of fresh water in the world is only 1% compared to oceans, glaciers or graundwater etc. The lowest point between the other form of water is on earth. This condition has been worse because of climate change disaster. It has affected every part of the world. Climate change causes the scarcity of water resources by melting ice water form and affects weather on increasing the heat on earth. The heat makes the number of water becomes less than normal or called as drought phenomena. People who live in lack of water area have competed to fulfill their daily need and also for farming system. And now, I would like to share few information that might be useful to reduce the scarcity of fresh water. First, people who live near water sources can create water infiltration area. Infultration area helps to filter ground water into fresh water. Second, people should stop throw garbage into places which fresh water comes from because wasting can pollute the water. Third, people can start to limit their water usage to activities which really important and stop to waste fresh water. The conclusion from this essay is percentage of fresh water in the world has the lowest position and it has been worse by effect of climate change. People should do prevent the reduce of drinkable water sources by give attention to environment and keep its source clean like several advices that have been written above.
The quantity of drinkable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
dropping. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible factors that effects its lack and
also
several solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of drinkable water.

The percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in the world is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1% compared to oceans, glaciers or
Possible spelling mistake found.
graundwater
etc. The lowest point between the other form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is on earth. This condition has been worse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
disaster. It has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
every part of the world. Climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
causes the scarcity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
resources by melting ice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
form and affects weather on increasing the heat on earth. The heat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
becomes less than normal or called as drought phenomena.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
area have competed to fulfill their daily need and
also
for farming system.

And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, I would like to share
Possible agreement error. The noun information seems to be uncountable; consider using: "little information".
few information
that might be useful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the scarcity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
.
First
,
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people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
near
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
can create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
infiltration area.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Infultration
area
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to filter ground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
throw garbage into places which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
wasting can pollute the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. Third,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to limit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
usage to activities which
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
to waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
water.

The conclusion from this essay is percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in the world has the lowest position and it has been worse by effect of climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
of drinkable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
by give attention to environment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
clean like several advices that have
been written
above.
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IELTS essay The amount of drinkable water for people is decreasing. Why is this? What can be done?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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