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Do you think it is better for students to work before their university study?Why? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer

Do you think it is better for students to work before their university study? Why? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer pRLb9
Some people say that students should take some employment prior to joining the higher studies. This is a debatable issue, so I believe, we should discuss about its pros and cons before reaching to conclusion because every issue has two faces and one cannot be neglected over the otherHaving some practical experience to earn money in very young age is really a good practice as it helps in making a different personality. For an instance, once student start earn then he can understand the value of the money and he will not waste his hard earned money in useless things. In addition to it, he can learn the technical aspects of the field, in which he is dreaming to make a career. As a result, he can decide whether that particular field is best suitable to him or not in his future. Lastly, he can make good references and relationships also by doing great work, which in turn will be fruitful for him to get a a good job after completing his higher studies from the university. On flip side, doing work before university can put a bad impact on the students also. For example, getting a good money without doing higher studies, can lead to think them that there is no use to do higher studies. But we all know that higher studies are so important for every student to get technical understanding of his field. Last but not least, students can also get frustrated about his favourite subject, in which they want to make their career after seeing the technical difficulties in their young age without having theoretical knowledge. To reiterate, a student should have practical as well as theoretical knowledge to excel in his field. Thus, in my opinion work before university is very important and university should make a rule for the students to get an admission, they should have a minimum work experience along with other eligibility criteria.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
employment prior to joining the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. This is a debatable issue,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I believe, we should
Did you mean simply "discuss its"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about its
pros and cons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching to conclusion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every issue has two faces and one cannot
be neglected
over the
Possible spelling mistake found.
otherHaving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
practical experience to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age is
really
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
practice as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in making a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
personality. For an instance, once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
earn then he can understand the value of the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
he will not waste his
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
hard earned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in useless things.
In addition
to it, he can learn the technical aspects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
, in which he is dreaming to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a career.
As a result
, he can decide whether that particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
A determiner is probably missing here: "is the best".
is best
suitable to him or not in his future.
Lastly
, he can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
references and relationships
also
by doing great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, which in turn will be fruitful for him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "a" or "a" is left.
a a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
job after completing his higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. On flip side, doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
can put a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
also
.
For example
, getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
without doing higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
, can lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
them that there is no
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
do higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
we all know that higher
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studies
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
technical understanding of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
frustrated about his
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
subject, in which they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their career after seeing the technical difficulties in their young age without having theoretical knowledge.

To reiterate, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should have practical
as well
as theoretical knowledge to excel in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
.
Thus
, in my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an admission, they should have a minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience along with other eligibility criteria.
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IELTS essay Do you think it is better for students to work before their university study? Why? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
323 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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