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The amount of drinkable water for people is decreasing.

The amount of drinkable water for people is decreasing. 06KOG
As we know humans can only survive a short amount of time without water. There are several surveys that stated that 60% of the adult body is made of water. While there will always be plenty of water in the world but freshwater or drinkable water is rapidly shrinking due to some key factors that will be discussed further in this essay. There are various factors responsible for water consumption which leads to increased water demand. There are few factors that can not be overlooked such as overpopulation, agriculture, industries. Because of the global population food demands are increasing therefore surge of water in agriculture is in demand by 70% of pure water. For Instance, Industries are using fresh water in every plant and as an outcome wasted dirt is ruining nearby rivers or lakes which is one of the factors that should be considered. On the other hand, the Government is looking forward to researching more into the technology that can transform salt water to pure (drinkable) water. Some of the plants are available for producing fresh water and also groundwater is introduced several years ago which is likely to be in use for local inhabitants called a water pump. In conclusion, I would say saving and producing freshwater is everyone's responsibility. There are still some factors that need to consider which are affecting global climate. In the future demands will be high for water infrastructure so that industries can figure out the reuse of wastewater and as human beings, we have to take care of water by increasing awareness.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
we know humans can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
survive a short amount of time without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. There are several surveys that stated that 60% of the adult body
is made
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. While there will always be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
freshwater or drinkable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is
rapidly
shrinking due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that will
be discussed
further
in this essay.

There are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
responsible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
consumption which leads to increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
. There are few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that can not
be overlooked
such as overpopulation, agriculture, industries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the global population food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demands
are increasing
therefore
surge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in agriculture is in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
by 70% of pure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
.
For Instance
, Industries are using fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in every plant and as an outcome wasted dirt is ruining nearby rivers or lakes which is one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that should
be considered
.

On the other hand
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
is looking forward to researching more into the technology that can transform salt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
to pure (drinkable)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
plants are available for producing fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and
also
groundwater
is introduced
several years ago which is likely to be in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for local inhabitants called a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pump.

In conclusion
, I would say saving and producing freshwater is everyone's responsibility. There are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that need to consider which are affecting global climate. In the future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demands
will be high for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
infrastructure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that industries can figure out the reuse of wastewater and as human beings, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
by increasing awareness.
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IELTS essay The amount of drinkable water for people is decreasing.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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