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Many Students take part-time jobs while studying in university. Is this a good or bad idea? what negative effects it will create for them??

Many Students take part-time jobs while studying in university. Is this a good or bad idea? what negative effects it will create for them? ? dqL1X
Numerous graduates take part-time employment while learning in tertiary educational institutions. It is a good idea because individuals learn to manage their expenses at an early age, and the detrimental impact on graduates is that they are not able to concentrate on there curriculum. The top most reason why several graduates involve in part-time work during studying in third-level educational institutions because graduates learn to handle their expenses at a young age. This is mainly due to, when university going males and females do odd jobs, such as doing job at cafe, as a delivery person and what not, then they learn to pay their bills and fee when they are 17 and 18. As an outcome, they will know the meaning of responsibility and also they will learn how to save money and where to spend bucks. for example, a recent study conducted at Birmingham University in 2018 revealed that United Kingdom university students doing part-time jobs while doing study to pay their dues as they believe they feel shy to ask money from their parents. The deleterious effect on undergraduates for doing part-time employment while learning in third-level educational institutions is that they are unable to focus on their mandatory subjects, such as Physics, Chemistry and Biology. This a mainly because, if graduates involve in part- time employment, such as waiter, chef and baker, then they lose interest in their studies because they are too busy in their work to earn money. As a result, they will score less in their studies and eventually they will not get any proposal of full-time jobs from any corporation. for instance, a recent article published at Hindustan Times in 2017 revealed that Indian students who are doing part-time work during their learning stage in time university score low as compared to those who are not doing any part-time employment because they failed to focus on their syllabus. In conclusion, it is a positive trend that university graduates do part-time work during studying in university because they learn to handle their expenses when they turn seventeen and eighteen, and the negative effect on graduates in that they are unable to focus on their subjects.
Numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
while learning in tertiary educational institutions. It is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to manage their expenses at an early age, and the detrimental impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
is that they are not able to concentrate on
Did you mean "their"?
there
curriculum.

The top most reason why several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
involve in part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
during studying in third-level educational institutions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to handle their expenses at a young age. This is
mainly
due to, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
going males and females do odd
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
at
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
, as a delivery person and what not, then they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to pay their bills and fee when they are 17 and 18. As an outcome, they will know the meaning of responsibility and
also
they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to save money and where to spend bucks.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, a recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
conducted at Birmingham
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
in 2018 revealed that United Kingdom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
to pay their dues as they believe they feel shy to ask money from their parents.

The deleterious effect on undergraduates for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
while learning in third-level educational institutions is that they are unable to focus on their mandatory subjects, such as Physics, Chemistry and Biology. This a
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
involve in part- time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
, such as waiter, chef and baker, then they lose interest in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are too busy in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to earn money.
As a result
, they will score less in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
and
eventually
they will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any proposal of full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
from any corporation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, a recent article published at Hindustan Times in 2017 revealed that Indian students who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
during their learning stage in time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
score low as compared to those who are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
any part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they failed to focus on their syllabus.

In conclusion
, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
do part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
during studying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to handle their expenses when they turn seventeen and eighteen, and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
in that they are unable to focus on their subjects.
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IELTS essay Many Students take part-time jobs while studying in university. Is this a good or bad idea? what negative effects it will create for them? ?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
362 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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