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Do you agree or disagree that grade school students shoukd bring cellphone to school?

that grade school students shoukd bring cellphone to school? 06K1B
In the modern world, the technology is very useful to all in the world, including childrens. But what has been argued is that if grade school students should bring cellphones to school or it will get in the way of them studies. I believe that cellphones can also be useful to childrens at school. Firstly, cellphones has not only negative effects but also, positive effects. Although, it could be usage to distract the students of the studies at school, the cellphone has a lot of apps that can be a boost for them knowledge. In addition, can be helpful to do researches in the middle of class to clarify doubts. Besides that, the fact that cannot be ignored is that cellphones improve the communication among schools, parents and students what can assist the parents to be in touch to school environment and how their childs are going in the school, for example, tests dates and scores, parents events and lectures. The main problem in using cellphone is in the maturity of childrens, however, is a task for the parents the correct time to use the cell phone at school. In conclusion, is possible say that grade school students should bring cellphone to school to help in researches and communication if they have maturity enough for use this in the correct time.
In the modern world, the technology is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful to all in the world, including
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
what has
been argued
is that if grade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should bring cellphones to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in the way of them studies. I believe that cellphones can
also
be useful to
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Firstly
, cellphones has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects. Although, it could be usage to distract the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of the studies at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, the cellphone has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
apps that can be a boost for them knowledge.
In addition
, can be helpful to do researches in the middle of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
to clarify doubts.

Besides
that, the fact that cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
is that cellphones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the communication among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
what can assist the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to be in touch to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
environment and how their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "children", the plural form of the noun 'child'?
childs
are going in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
for example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
dates and scores,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and lectures. The main problem in using cellphone is in the maturity of
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
,
however
, is a task for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
the correct time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the cell phone at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
In conclusion
, is possible say that grade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should bring cellphone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in researches and communication if they have maturity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this in the correct time.
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IELTS essay that grade school students shoukd bring cellphone to school?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
221 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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