Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anythinghttps://ielts69.com/draft#submit if they try hard.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anythinghttps: //ielts69. com/draft#submit if they try hard. 7r7l5
There are many variant cultures all over the world although they are likely to be almost similar in some aspects. Most people believes in hard work to acquire anything so they usually pass on to their children to make them understand the value of hard work. So there are many advantages over disadvantge we will going to look further in this essay. Firstly, Children nowadays are quick learners so whatever they learn from the parents or teachers they would going to follow. Cultures have diversity among traditions they learned from the ancient time. It is necessary to understand the moral behind the hard work because it leads to success. if anyone have dreamed of for certain goal from their childhood but lack of hard work will get nothing in terms of outcome. For example, If poor people from village invest their time in farming with the intense hard work then as a output they definietly get profit from the mass-market. On the other hand, Some people believes in working smart is enough without doing hard work which is acceptable in some extent where technology leads major role whereas we can not expect each person to have a same sense of humor that will allow them to work smart. For instance, Children are using more technologies which is making them smart but the lazy. In conclusion, The outcome from hard work will be more valuable and acceptable internationally, children should have learn to do hard work because this will make them physically fit and make them familiar with the real life scenario, which they are going to face in future.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
variant cultures all over the world although they are likely to be almost similar in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects. Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
believes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to acquire anything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
usually
pass on to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them understand the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages over
Possible spelling mistake found.
disadvantge
we will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "go"
going
to look
further
in this essay.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
nowadays are quick learners
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
whatever they learn from the parents or teachers they would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "go"
going
to follow. Cultures have diversity among traditions they learned from the ancient time. It is necessary to understand the moral behind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it leads to success.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
anyone
The pronoun 'anyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
dreamed of for certain goal from their childhood
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
nothing in terms of outcome.
For example
, If poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from village invest their time in farming with the intense
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
then as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
output they
Possible spelling mistake found.
definietly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
profit from the mass-market.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
believes
in working smart is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
without doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which is acceptable in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent where technology leads major role whereas we can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
each person to have a same sense of humor that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
smart.

For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are using more technologies which is making them smart
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the lazy.

In conclusion
, The outcome from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will be more valuable and acceptable
internationally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should have
Use past participle here: "learned", "learnt".
learn
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
physically
fit and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them familiar with the real life scenario, which they are going to face
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anythinghttps: //ielts69. com/draft#submit if they try hard.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5.5band
    Some companies have uniforms for their staff which must be worn at all times.
    It has been observed that, some people think wearing uniform at school is best for all the employees as it shows the. Identity of a particular company. I firmly, bolster to the late statement my opinion is justified further. The foremost argument I should put forward, that wearing uniform must be a...
  • 6.5band
    online shopping nowadays
    There is no doubt that these days, online shopping is more popular for almost all products. Some people think that the positive side of this phenomenon has outweighed the disadvantages. In this essay, I will discuss both points of view. To begin with, the variety of products available in online sto...
  • 5.5band
    What are the reasons for this rise in obesity?
    In the recently years, the population on earth facing several problems. For example, global warming, change of dressing culture, rising in obesity and so on. In this essay, I will discuss some reasons for this rise in obesity. One of the main causes of the problem is which people eating junk foods....
  • 5.5band
    that grade school students shoukd bring cellphone to school?
    In the modern world, the technology is very useful to all in the world, including childrens. But what has been argued is that if grade school students should bring cellphones to school or it will get in the way of them studies. I believe that cellphones can also be useful to childrens at school. Fir...
  • 6band
    Many Students take part-time jobs while studying in university. Is this a good or bad idea? what negative effects it will create for them? ?
    Numerous graduates take part-time employment while learning in tertiary educational institutions. It is a good idea because individuals learn to manage their expenses at an early age, and the detrimental impact on graduates is that they are not able to concentrate on there curriculum. The top most ...
  • 5.5band
    Describe your first day at school
    Well. There are plenty diffirent schools in our Uzbekistan. For instance kindergarden, primary, secondary, high and other schools. Exactly I know that I really can not remember about my first day. However, I can remember when I was transferred from kindergarden to primary school. It was in Kokand, t...