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The age of Information Technology has taken a lot of people by surprise. While it has become a way of life for some, others know very little about it and may be unlikely to learn. Eventually, we will have a polarized society and this will lead to serious social problems. v.3

The age of Information Technology has taken a lot of people by surprise. While it has become a way of life for some, others know very little about it and may be unlikely to learn. Eventually, we will have a polarized society and this will lead to serious social problems. v. 3
In today's contemporary world, technology has changed many aspects of our lifestyle and thus every work has been computerised. A group of people believes that everyone cannot learn how to use these devices and this eventually divides the society into two different sides. However, I personally disagree with them because of some main reasons, which are elucidated below. It is true that the speed of technology was on the increase in two last decades, but it prevails rapidly too. For example, my grandmother who has 80 years old, and she is uneducated and can use a cell phone as much as she needs, such as sending a message or dialling every mobile number. I mean, today, technology is not just for the young generation or people with high level of education. Furthermore, nowadays, we are witnesses of technology even in remote cities and villages. All of them have an access to two most important devices, the internet and the computer because everyone can buy these tools in reasonable price or even by monthly instalments. In addition, today children are taught in primary school to know how to use computers. As a result, if they cannot afford to purchase these gadgets, they will learn in school. While, there are many individuals who prefer to live in traditional ways. However, these differences cannot create divided society, because they choose this way for living themselves. All in all, from what has been discussed I pen down saying that technology is spreading all around the world and everyone can use it easily.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's contemporary world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of our lifestyle and
thus
every work has been
Possible spelling mistake. 'computerised' is British English.
computerised
. A group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believes that everyone cannot learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these devices and this
eventually
divides the society into two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sides.
However
, I
personally
disagree with them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
main reasons, which
are elucidated
below.

It is true that the speed of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
was on the increase in two last decades,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it prevails
rapidly
too.
For example
, my grandmother who has 80 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, and she
is uneducated
and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a cell phone as much as she needs, such as sending a message or
Possible spelling mistake found.
dialling
every mobile number. I mean,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for the young generation or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with high level of education.

Furthermore
, nowadays, we are witnesses of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
even in remote cities and villages. All of them have
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "access".
an access
to two most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
devices, the internet and the computer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everyone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
these tools in reasonable price or even by monthly
Possible spelling mistake. 'instalments' is British English.
instalments
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
children
are taught
in primary school to know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers.
As a result
, if they cannot afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
these gadgets, they will learn in school.

“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals who prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in traditional ways.
However
, these differences cannot create divided society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they choose this way for living themselves.

All in all, from what has
been discussed
I pen down saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is spreading all around the world and everyone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
easily
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay The age of Information Technology has taken a lot of people by surprise. While it has become a way of life for some, others know very little about it and may be unlikely to learn. Eventually, we will have a polarized society and this will lead to serious social problems. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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