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The age of Information Technology has taken a lot of people by surprise. While it has become a way of life for some, others know very little about it and may be unlikely to learn. Eventually, we will have a polarized society and this will lead to serious social problems. v.1

The age of Information Technology has taken a lot of people by surprise. While it has become a way of life for some, others know very little about it and may be unlikely to learn. Eventually, we will have a polarized society and this will lead to serious social problems. v. 1
Our highly informatics era became quite a shock for many of us. At the time one part of society uses new means of information very actively, other people stay in the dark without any chance to make an approach to understanding new technologies. There is a raising awareness of does this problem have a potential danger of slicing the society into two parts which would never understand each other. It is the fact that many of everyday activities became available for computer users only. For example, if you are a university student, you are supposed to submit your term paper as typed and printed document, they no longer accept hand-written papers. Furthermore, some manufacturers do not distribute information leaflets but give a website address on their products’ packs, thus only the Internet users can have an access to product details. The last but not the least, the computer skills became a crucial requirement for employment in urban areas. Meanwhile, inhabitants of rural areas do not need new means of acquiring information. Their work and everyday activities do not demand using computers. For example, a farmer can use radio to hear the news and ordinary mail to communicate. Taking into account the fact not every citizen can use new information technologies, governments would not change the traditional ways of interaction with their people. It is highly unlikely people would no longer have a possibility to vote by filling papers by hand or do other activities, important for their citizenship. Informatics of society affected those, who have a need for instant information exchange. People, whose lifestyle do not require any haste in communication have an opportunity to use traditional ways of it. I am assured that as long as the situation does not make others change their way of life against their will, there is no risk of receiving serious social problems.
Our
highly
informatics era became quite a shock for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of us. At the time one part of society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
actively
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stay in the dark without any chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an approach to understanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technologies. There is a raising awareness of does this problem have a potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of slicing the society into two parts which would never understand each other.

It is the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of everyday activities became available for computer users
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
For example
, if you are a university student, you
are supposed
to submit your term paper as typed and printed document, they no longer accept hand-written papers.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
manufacturers do not distribute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
leaflets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
give a website address on their products’ packs,
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the Internet users can have
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "access".
an access
to product
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
. The last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, the computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
became a crucial requirement for employment in urban areas.

Meanwhile, inhabitants of rural areas do not need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
means of acquiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. Their work and everyday activities do not demand using computers.
For example
, a farmer can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
radio to hear the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and ordinary mail to communicate.

Taking into account the fact not every citizen can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
technologies,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the traditional ways of interaction with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It is
highly
unlikely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would no longer have a possibility to vote by filling papers by hand or do other activities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for their citizenship.

Informatics of society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
those, who have a need for instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
exchange.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
, whose lifestyle do not require any haste in communication have an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
traditional ways of it. I
am assured
that as long as the situation does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their way of life against their will, there is no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of receiving serious social problems.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The age of Information Technology has taken a lot of people by surprise. While it has become a way of life for some, others know very little about it and may be unlikely to learn. Eventually, we will have a polarized society and this will lead to serious social problems. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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