Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The age at which people can get married legally is always a controversial issue.

The age at which people can get married legally is always a controversial issue. While some people claim that it should be at least 21, others think this age should be smaller such as 18 or 16. In my opinion, I strongly agree with this former idea. Admittedly, it is believed that children now grow very fast and become puberty earlier than children in the past. As a result, they should have the right to get married early. Ironically, despite of the development of their physical body, their awareness and their experience are not sufficient enough to make a right decision. For example, teenagers may fall in love with each other because of simple reasons such as physical beauty or sharing some common things. Whereas, when people become more mature, they can easily realize what is needed for happiness like mutual understanding or sympathy. Therefore, when they get married, they can likely build a family with sustainable happiness and it will decrease the divorce rate. On the other hand, it is believed that by dint of allowing young people to marry early, we can reduce the number of unsupported pregnancies. To specify, because the couples are not old enough to get married, the young man can easily discard his responsibility if his spouse is pregnant. Nevertheless, only when we do not permit teenagers marry early, could we prevent the bad situation of children who have teenage parents. Because young parents do not aware of being responsible, so they can easily abandon their children. For example, the young couples in my neighborhood have sent their child to an orphanage because they can be not affords to take care of him. Moreover, due to the instable income and job, young married parents do not have ability to raise their children in the good condition. In conclusion, by considering both benefits and drawbacks, I think it would be better if the legal minimum age of getting married is 21 or over.
The age at which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married
legally
is always a controversial issue. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that it should be at least 21, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this age should be smaller such as 18 or 16. In my opinion, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this former
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

Admittedly
, it
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
grow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and become puberty earlier than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the past.
As a result
, they should have the right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married early.
Ironically
,
Did you mean “despite” (or, alternatively, ‘in spite of’)?
despite of
the development of their physical body, their awareness and their experience are not sufficient
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a right decision.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
may fall in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with each other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of simple reasons such as physical beauty or sharing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
common things. Whereas, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become more mature, they can
easily
realize what
is needed
for happiness like mutual understanding or sympathy.
Therefore
, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married, they can likely build a family with sustainable
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
happiness and
it will decrease the divorce rate.

On the other hand
, it
is believed
that by dint of allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to marry early, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of unsupported pregnancies. To specify,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the couples are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
can
easily
discard his responsibility if his spouse is pregnant.
Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when we do not permit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
marry early, could we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who have teenage parents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
parents do not aware of being responsible,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
easily
abandon their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
couples in my neighborhood have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
their child to an orphanage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can be not affords to take care of him.
Moreover
, due to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
instable
income and job,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
married parents do not have ability to raise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
condition.

In conclusion
, by considering both benefits and drawbacks, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it would be better if the legal minimum age of getting married is 21 or over.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay The age at which people can get married legally is always a controversial issue.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts