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The affects of modern enventions in people's healthy life

The affects of modern enventions in people's healthy life Dlqxk
In the fast - moving world, the modern electronic enventions are increasingly popular such as tractors, washing machine, vacuum cleaner and so on. However, they have been reducing physical exercises people do. I support this idea which negative affects for people's healthy life. In fact, people spend their spare time watching or playing a computer daylong after even they have a big lunch or supper. As a result, they suffer from obesity. In consequence, theyvparticipate in sports to loose overweight. Actually, doing physical activity and doing sports than physical attempt nowadays. On the other hand, they causes sightless. Because television and computer radiate. By the way, modern enventions have also conviniences. For example, we can ceit in medicine. A lot of cures are found against the diseases In conclusion, negative sides of technology is much more. So that we shouldn't ignore our health. To cut a long story short, health is better than anything.
In the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
moving world, the modern electronic
Possible spelling mistake found.
enventions
are
increasingly
popular such as tractors, washing machine, vacuum cleaner and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
However
, they have been reducing physical exercises
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do. I support this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
affects for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's healthy life. In fact,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend their spare time watching or playing a computer daylong after even they have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
lunch or supper.
As a result
, they suffer from obesity. In consequence,
Possible spelling mistake found.
theyvparticipate
in sports to
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
overweight. Actually, doing physical activity and doing sports than physical attempt nowadays.
On the other hand
, they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "cause"
causes
sightless.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
television and computer radiate. By the way, modern
Possible spelling mistake found.
enventions
have
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
conviniences
.
For example
, we can
Possible spelling mistake found.
ceit
in medicine.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
cures
are found
against the diseases
In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides of technology is much more.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
we shouldn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
our health. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
a long story short, health is better than anything.

IELTS essay The affects of modern enventions in people's healthy life

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
154 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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