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The advantages when living in the city

The advantages when living in the city 7PgY6
Nowadays, people tend to migrate from the countryside to the city where have conditioned for economic development and modern facilities. According to me, that is reasonable truth due to its positive sides, as will now be discussed. First of all, living in a large metropolis can help people access better educational facilities and medical services. We can not deny the importance of education and health demands which are worth their weight in gold and considered the basic needs. For instance, the children who have studied in the international schools or where have good qualities about teaching, most of them will more active in social skill and have diverse knowledge. Besides, getting a higher income is the major reason that residents choose to leave far from the outskirts and settle in the central parts of the city. When we live in the urban sprawl, we have to pay expensive prices for food, accommodation, and transportation, but that is no problem because the dwellers who live here have a big salary and they can deal with this issue. For this reason, people are completely and totally comfortably enjoying their life because they do not have to be too worried about money. In conclusion, living in the city has plenty of advantages, and in the near future, it certainly will become a place where everyone can develop.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to migrate from the countryside to the city where have conditioned for economic development and modern facilities.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
,
that is
reasonable truth due to its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides, as will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
be discussed
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, living in a large metropolis can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
access better educational facilities and medical services. We can not deny the importance of education and health demands which are worth their weight in gold and considered the basic needs.
For instance
, the children who have studied in the international schools or where have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
qualities about teaching, most of them will more active in social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and have diverse knowledge.
Besides
, getting a higher income is the major reason that residents choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
far from the outskirts and settle in the central parts of the city. When we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the urban sprawl, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay expensive prices for food, accommodation, and transportation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that is
no problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the dwellers who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
here have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
salary and
they can deal with this issue.
For this reason
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are completely and
totally
comfortably
enjoying their life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be too worried about money.
In conclusion
, living in the city has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of advantages, and in the near future, it
certainly
will become a place where everyone can develop.
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IELTS essay The advantages when living in the city

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
224 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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