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That’s make some nations becoming similar to the other nations since people able to buy the same products from the rest of the world. There is an advantage and drawback

That’s make some nations becoming similar to the other nations since people able to buy the same products from the rest of the world. There is an advantage and drawback eEJLG
Today’s there are numerous e-commerce company around the world who sell a massive product around the world who offer an easiness buying experience from anywhere. That’s make some nations becoming similar to the other nations since people able to buy the same products from the rest of the world. There is an advantage and drawback from this issues that I would explain my perspective in my essay. The beneficial of similarity between each countries cause by an easiness of buying experience that drives to economic growth. For example, in my countries there are variety of products from foreign region that you can get easily in here, such as iPhone, that you can buy this from here and also from other countries. By this situation, the beneficial in economy area will increase since the hype of this products plays a key role to drive community to buying some products. Moreover, by increasing number of worldwide e-commerce that have a huge potential to grab the market. As the result, that economic will growth significantly. However, there is a disadvantage from this, first, it will harm our local’s business while many foreign products are imported in one country. For instance, in Indonesia, there are several products of foods and diaries product that imported such as milk, rice, and corn. This was fully impacted to our local farmers that they don’t have any change to sell their products to the local’s market. By this effect, that’s clearly, numerous of local business cannot be survive by an international competition. Consequently, it leads to local’s economic impact. In my personal opinion, both views have an immense impact to economy, moreover to global’s economic. Nevertheless, government need to make a plan, strategy, and regulation which to help their community still can get benefit by buying from the other foreign countries and also how to protect our local’s to avoid a global competition. To sum up, with the advance technology that allowed people around the world to buy a same products which is similar to the others. The advantage by this can have a huge impact to our economic as well as the drawbacks that can thrive our local’s economic, if government not have a regulation and policy to market controls.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
’s there are numerous e-commerce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
who sell a massive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
who offer an easiness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
experience from anywhere. That’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations becoming similar to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from the rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. There is an advantage and drawback from
Did you mean "these"?
this
issues that I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my perspective in my essay.

The phrase 'The beneficial of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'The' and 'of'.
The beneficial of
similarity between each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "country"?
countries
cause by an easiness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
experience that drives to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth.
For example
, in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
there are variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from foreign region that you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
easily
in here, such as iPhone, that you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
this from here and
also
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. By this situation, the beneficial in economy area will increase since the hype of
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
plays a key role to drive community to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Moreover
, by increasing number of worldwide e-commerce that have a huge potential to grab the market. As the result, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
will growth
significantly
.

However
, there is a disadvantage from this,
first
, it will harm our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local’s
business while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are imported
in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
, in Indonesia, there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
of foods and diaries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
that imported such as milk, rice, and corn. This was
fully
impacted to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
farmers that they don’t have any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to sell their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local’s
market. By this effect, that’s
clearly
, numerous of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
business cannot be
Consider using the past participle "survived"?
survive
by an international competition.
Consequently
, it leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
impact.

In my personal opinion, both views have an immense impact to economy,
moreover
to global’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
.
Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a plan, strategy, and regulation which to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their community
still
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
benefit by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
also
how to protect our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local’s
to avoid a global competition.

To sum up, with the advance technology that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a same
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "product"?
products
which is similar to the others. The advantage by this can have a huge impact to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
as well
as the drawbacks that can thrive our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
not have a regulation and policy to market controls.
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IELTS essay That’s make some nations becoming similar to the other nations since people able to buy the same products from the rest of the world. There is an advantage and drawback

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
373 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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