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Do you agree or disagree that violent media is the main cause of violence among young people?

Douglas Keiter once named media «a fourth power after legislative, executive and judicial», which really makes think about its huge impact on society. Every day we being influenced by media on our personal opinion, views of life, habits and social behavior, without even noticing it. Especially it effects on young people, whom all of the above haven’t formed yet. I agree with an opinion that violent media is the main cause of violence among young people, because their character traits and moral values are not yet fully formed, so they are easily amenable to external interference. Firstly, the content of media has a huge impact on the child’s character traits. He hasn’t formed his own yet, so he might take an example of social behavior from virtual characters or idols. Children have the quality to easily absorb some character traits/actions, thereby they taking the aggressive behavior patterns of the characters. In 2012, the Media Violence Commission of the International Society for Research on Aggression (ISRA) in its report on media violence said, “Over the past 50 years, a large number of studies conducted around the world have shown that watching violent television, watching violent films, or playing violent video games increases the likelihood for aggressive behavior”. That’s why I believe that young people whom character traits and behavior haven’t formed yet, may adopt examples of aggressive manner from violent media. Secondly, young people have immature concepts of morality, because of lack of life experience and knowledge. Child’s concepts of “good” and “bad” are vague and while watching movies or TV programs usually they can’t distinguish the virtual world from actual reality. Numerous scenes with cruelty from movies or videogames has an impact on the child’s psychic, giving an incorrect vision of the normal social behavior, which may happen due to a weak moral compass and vague concepts of ethics. It also morally suppresses a young person, making him more insensitive and depressive. In a 2009 Policy Statement on Media Violence, the American Academy of Pediatrics said, “Extensive research evidence indicates that media violence can contribute to aggressive behavior, desensitization to violence, nightmares, and fear of being harmed. ” That’s why in my opinion, child may adopt some aggressive traits and behavior from violent media because of weak concepts of morality and values. Summing up all these ideas, I can conclude, that media is literally a propaganda of generally accepted opinions and views of life, the influence of what we are unknowingly exposed every day. For young children such impact can be extremely harmful, because they do not know how to filter all this infinitely coming information yet and this puts them in vulnerable position. I believe that parents have to control the content of media their child is watching and make limitations about it, not only for the well-being of their child, but also for the safety of the whole society.
Douglas
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Keiter
once named
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media
«a fourth power after legislative, executive and judicial», which
really
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makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about its huge
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impact
on society. Every day we
being influenced
by
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media
on our personal
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opinion
, views of life, habits and social
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behavior
, without even noticing it.
Especially
it effects on
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young
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people
, whom
Consider using “all the”.
all of the
above haven’t
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formed
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yet
. I
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agree
with an
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opinion
that
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violent
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media
is the main cause of
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violence
among
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young
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people
,
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because
their
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character
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traits
and moral values are not
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yet
fully
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formed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are
easily
amenable to external interference.

Firstly
, the content of
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media
has a huge
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impact
on the
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child’s
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character
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traits
. He hasn’t
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formed
his
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own
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yet
,
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so
he might take an example of social
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behavior
from virtual
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characters
or idols. Children have the quality to
easily
absorb
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some
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character
traits/actions, thereby
A verb seems to be missing. Did you mean “they’re taking”, “they are taking”, or “they were taking”?
they taking
the
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aggressive
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behavior
patterns of the
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characters
. In 2012, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
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Violence
Commission of the International Society for Research on Aggression (
Possible spelling mistake found.
ISRA
) in its report on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
said, “Over the past 50 years,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use “many” or “numerous”
a large number of
studies conducted around the world have shown that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
television, watching
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violent
films, or playing
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violent
video games increases the likelihood for
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aggressive
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behavior”
. That’s why I believe that
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young
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people
whom
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character
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traits
and
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behavior
haven’t
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formed
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yet
, may adopt examples of
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aggressive
manner from
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violent
media.

Secondly
,
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young
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people
have immature
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concepts
of morality,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of life experience and knowledge.
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Child’s
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concepts
of “
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
” and “
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
” are vague and while watching movies or TV programs
usually
they can’t distinguish the virtual world from actual reality. Numerous scenes with cruelty from movies or
Possible spelling mistake found.
videogames
has an
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impact
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
psychic, giving an incorrect vision of the normal social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
, which may happen due to a weak moral compass and vague
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concepts
of ethics. It
also
morally
suppresses a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
person, making him more insensitive and depressive. In a 2009 Policy Statement on
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Media
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Violence
, the American Academy of Pediatrics said, “Extensive research evidence indicates that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
can contribute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aggressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
, desensitization to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
, nightmares, and fear of
being harmed
. ” That’s why in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
,
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child
may adopt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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aggressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traits
and
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behavior
from
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violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
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because
of weak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concepts
of morality and values.

Summing up all these
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ideas
, I can conclude, that
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media
is
literally
a propaganda of
generally
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accepted
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opinions
and views of life, the influence of what we are
unknowingly
exposed every day. For
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young
children such
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impact
can be
extremely
harmful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not know how to filter all this
infinitely
coming information
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yet
and this puts them in vulnerable position. I believe that parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
control the content of
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media
their
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child
is watching and
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make
limitations about it, not
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only
for the well-being of their
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child
,
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but
also
for the safety of the whole society.
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IELTS essay that violent media is the main cause of violence among young people?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
481 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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