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University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays many students are going to foreign countries for their academic studies. Mainly foreign graduates are having more demand in corporate markets in their home country. However, students are facing more difficulties in financial and mental wise. In this essay, we shall discuss how advantages outweigh disadvantages. During this 21st century, many pupils start migrating to foreign lands for getting a good education and for massive career growth. Although, the foreign students are having a better opportunity than the students who were studied in their same place. A lot of corporate companies are waiting to give jobs to overseas students owing to still many MNCs believe that the standard of education is good in foreign countries than compared to their native country and also they start to offer a telephone digits salary. For example, One of my friend who was studied in away after when he returning to his home country suddenly he got a job in top most MNC company without any efforts. So I can strongly say that there should be more advantages if studied in other countries. On the other hand, more graduates are facing difficulties in paying their tuition fee and mental wise. If a person studying in their own place no need spend more money for university fee. Though if he is studying in other countries he needs to spend more pennies on food and accommodation, then he wants to worry about the cost of living. Mainly a lot of students are facing problems with their food and daily household chores. Because, if they are staying in native their mothers will take care of everything. Besides many pupils are longing for true love from their family after few days they feel home-sick meanwhile they are affects mentally and they are not focusing on their academics. For example, very few numbers of students are returning their home after completing their first year of course because of mental stress. In conclusion, many students wish to continue their studies in foreign countries for their happiness. While there are various problems in studying overseas but the advantages always outweigh the disadvantages.
Nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for their academic studies.
Mainly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
graduates are having more demand in corporate markets in their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are facing more difficulties in financial and mental wise. In this essay, we shall discuss how advantages outweigh disadvantages.

During this 21st century,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pupils
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
migrating to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
lands for getting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education and for massive career growth.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are having a better opportunity than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
were studied
in their same place.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
corporate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are waiting to give jobs to overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
owing to
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
MNCs believe that the standard of education is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
than compared to their native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
also
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to offer a telephone digits salary.
For example
, One of my friend who
was studied
in away after when
A verb seems to be missing. Did you mean “he’s returning”, “he is returning”, or “he was returning”?
he returning
to his home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
suddenly
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a job in top most MNC
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
without any efforts.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I can
strongly
say that there should be more advantages if studied in other countries.

On the other hand
, more graduates are facing difficulties in paying their tuition fee and mental wise. If a person studying in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
place no need spend more money for university fee. Though if he is studying in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
he needs to spend more pennies on food and accommodation, then he wants to worry about the cost of living.
Mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are facing problems with their food and daily household chores.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, if they are staying in native their mothers will take care of everything.
Besides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pupils are longing for true
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
from their family after few days they feel home-sick meanwhile they are affects
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
mentally and
they are not focusing on their academics.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are returning their home after completing their
first
year
of course
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
wish to continue their studies in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for their happiness. While there are various problems in studying
Use a comma before ‘but’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
overseas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the advantages always outweigh the disadvantages.
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IELTS essay University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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