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Do you agree or disagree with the statement that social activity is as important as academic class to students.

that social activity is as important as academic class to students. GM3ko
It is general truth that students' education does not only consist of learning academic subjects. It is a must for them to develop social skills. Therefore, when it comes to whether social activity is as important as academic class, I would say yes without hesitation and I would explore only two primary ones here. The main reason for my propensity is that only through participating in social activities, can we really have a chance to practice our abilities to deal with the difficulties. As we all know, life is dotted with trouble. Since we can't avoid them, the only thing we can do is to defeat them. However, nobody is born with the skills to handle the problems, therefore we need to obtain such skills by practice and that is how social activities come into help. Take myself as an example. I used to lead my team to win the championship in the Business Plan Competition. At the beginning of competition, my team was totally in a mess. Because all the team members in my team were top-notch, most of them disdain listening to other or even taking others' opinion into considerations. Faced with this unpleasant situation, I stood out and gathered my teammates at first. I persuaded them to have a communication not debate. After making sure that the individual had really understood each other, I encouraged them to analyze the situation from different perspective and finally we came into agreement. In retrospect, I would have failed to learn how to solve the problems like this if I haven't attended this competition. Besides, social activities also widen our knowledge. By attending the social activities, you could meet people from other places and broaden your horizon. To shed light on it, I would like to take my best friend Lucy as an example. Last year, she attended a ceremony on volunteerism. During the ceremony, she made friends with people coming from different volunteerism association. To her surprise, one of guest from marine conversation society invited her to explore the sea. Nothing could compare with this chance for her to feel the power of ocean. Thanks to this ceremony, Lucy owned a memorable experience. In short, social activity should be taken seriously, not only for the reason that it practices our abilities but also for the fact that it enriches our experience.
It is general truth that students' education does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
consist of learning academic subjects. It is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for them to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Therefore
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
is as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as academic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, I would say yes without hesitation and I would explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
two primary ones here.

The main reason for my propensity is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
through participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, can we
really
have a chance to practice our abilities to deal with the difficulties. As we all know, life
is dotted
with trouble. Since we can't avoid them, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
thing we can do is to defeat them.
However
, nobody
is born
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to handle the problems,
therefore
we need to obtain such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by practice and
that is
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. Take myself as an example. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to lead my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
to win the championship in the Business Plan Competition. At the beginning of competition, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
was
totally
in a mess.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
members in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
were top-notch, most of them disdain listening to other or even taking others' opinion into considerations. Faced with this unpleasant situation, I stood out and gathered my teammates at
first
. I persuaded them to have a communication not debate. After making sure that the individual had
really
understood each other, I encouraged them to analyze the situation from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspective and
finally
we came into agreement. In retrospect, I would have failed to learn how to solve the problems like this if I haven't attended this competition.

Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
also
widen our knowledge. By attending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, you could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from other places and broaden your horizon. To shed light on it, I would like to take my best friend Lucy as an example. Last year, she attended a ceremony on volunteerism. During the ceremony, she made friends with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
coming from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
volunteerism association. To her surprise, one of guest from marine conversation society invited her to explore the sea. Nothing could compare with this chance for her to feel the power of ocean. Thanks to this ceremony, Lucy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
a memorable experience.

In short,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
should
be taken
seriously
, not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
for the reason that it practices our abilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for the fact that it enriches our experience.
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IELTS essay that social activity is as important as academic class to students.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
391 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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